When it Feels Right
by melissabann
Summary: After the war ends Miriallia overhears the crew talking about Dearka deciding to go back to the PLANTs despite the possible consequences. Panicked she runs off to find him determined to get him to change his mind. Shock guiding her actions she would find him no matter where he was on the ship.
1. Prologue: A Feeling

He loved this feeling. The feeling of a hot steaming shower after a long battle. The drops of water rolled down his beaten and bruised toned body. The cut on his forehead bleed slightly as the water rushed down. His naked tanned skin slightly burned from heat but still he loved it. The bathroom was one of the only places on a battleship with forced gravity. Going there help him to pretend he was somewhere else, anywhere else. He was free to think of whatever he wanted. To think of anything and everything away, far away from the war. But with everything he could think about his mind seemed to keep wandering to _her_.

Anytime he closed his eyes he saw her face. Her voice haunted his consciousness. He couldn't figure out why... After all she was a weakling, a _natural_. She in his opinion, or at least the one that was forced down his throat his whole life, was beneath him. Yet still she was the only thing on his mind.

He began rinsing the soap from his wavy blond locks. While memories of moments spent with her flooded his mind.

* * *

 _Tolle's gone, and he's never coming back! And yet this creep... what is this scumbag doing here!?_

* * *

 _He was in a skygrasper...on the island... When you guys attacked us. A fighter plane. A blue and white one._

* * *

 _I'm the ship's CIC. Besides... Orb is my home._

* * *

 _So, what is your point? Weren't you listening to Kira? This is what he meant! Would killing him bring Tolle back to me? Of course it wouldn't. So, why don't you just stop talking about it?_

* * *

"Please tell me it's not true!" The voice echoed off the walls of the shower. His eyes shot opened from shock as continued to look forward. His whole body froze. It took a moment before he realize this voice was not in his head. The girl he was thinking of was standing behind him. "You can't. Pl-please answer me?" Her voice quivered. He could tell she was crying.

Slowly he turned around enough so he could see her with exposing her to a full view of his soaking wet body. Only a couple feet away she stood breathing heavily. Tears rolled down her cheeks. He could tell she had hurried to find him. She had removed her shoes, socks and EAF jacket. Only her skirt and white t-shirt remained. Water splashing off both Dearka's body and the shower itself drenched her. Her hair fell flat and her white shirt began to show her lacy pink bra beneath. Her bright teal eyes staring him down begging for an answer. She was so beautiful he couldn't help but stare for a moment.

"Haww..." He said in a sympathetic voice. He still had abided by her request not to use her name. He had gained a great deal of respect for her. He had always believed naturals were weaklings. But after meeting her even after all the tears she shed in front of him he still believed she was one of the strongest and bravest young women he had ever met.

"They...they told me you're going back! But you can't. You just can't. You're a traitor to ZAFT. If the convict you... Then... Then...you'll!" she couldn't bring herself to say the words. The penalty for what he did, if convicted had only one punishment... Death. Slowly she fell to her knees sobbing uncontrollably.

He looked at her. Sorrow filling his eyes. He turned to face her fully. Her eyes were to the ground as she cried. It broke his heart to see her in so much pain. Slowly he knelt down in front of her. Water still beating down his back. Steam filling the room. Both of their bodies soaking wet. He reached up and place his right hand on her chin. Tilting her face upwards to meet his gaze.

He looked her straight in the eyes. Never breaking contact. She saw the serious look in his lavender eyes but also a deep amount of concern. Finally he spoke. "I'm not _him_ " her eyes widened at this remark. Suddenly, before they both realized what was happening, they began to lean in towards one another. Slowly their eyes closed as their lips touched in a tender kiss. She reached her hand up and placed it on the side of his face.

Dearka felt a strange sensation. It was one he had never felt before. Although he had kissed many girls before he had never felt anything like this. It felt like lightning or butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He deepened the kiss. His heart pounded so hard and fast he thought it would burst out of his chest. His found it hard to breath and goosebumps covered his body.

She felt much the same way. Tolle never raised such feelings in her. With him a kiss was just a kiss. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way. She tried her hardest not to get close to him. But now she was kissing him. She was terrified at the thought of him leaving.

Finally they broke apart. They looked into each others eyes. A bright shade of pink crossed their faces. They were both suddenly very aware of just how naked he was. This caused them to break eye contact. "I should go" she said beginning to turn. Only to be stopped but a hand grabbing hers.

"No. Stay and have a shower." He said in a husky voice "You're soaked anyways. You really planning to walk the halls dripping wet?" A small smirk came on his face with his last comment.

"No... I guess not-"

"-Then you stay here." he exclaimed quickly "I'm done now. I'll get dressed and go find you some dry clothes." She nodded yes keeping her eyes towards the wall so not to look at his perfectly sculpted body. He stood up a left the room to get dried Off. He looked back through the fogged shower door. He could see the shadow of her body as she stood up, removed her clothes and walked under the running water.

He didn't quite understand what had just happened between them. She was a natural and he was a coordinator. So why did kissing her feel more right than anything else in his young life had ever.

After he was dried off and dressed he headed towards her room. He greeted everyone he passed with a distant distracted wave. Finally he made it to her room. He had never entered before. Part of him worried he was going to be invading her privacy. All thoughts of that left his mind when the door opened.

It was not what he expected at all. There were only two women on the ship. The captain and her. So naturally Dearka assumed they each would have their own rooms. Instead it seemed she shared with many men. The room he entered contained eight beds. He walked over to the bed with her name engraved above it.

He sat down on the bed. It was slightly uncomfortable. He found it strange. Even he, a former enemy was given his own room. But she was forced to share. It saddened him slightly. She really was a strong woman. He looked carefully around her bed. It was made neatly and with care. As he scanned the bed a box caught his eye. He pulled it over towards himself and looked inside.

On top was a instapic camera. It was very worn. It had obviously been used a lot. He moved it aside and picked up the pictures in the box. Some of the people in the pictures he recognized. There was Sai and Kira, along with their friend Kuzzy in many of them. They were wearing their EAF uniforms. All smiling big. Of course there was lots of her too. Looking at her face brought a smile to his. He had never seen her smile before. She was even more beautiful with a smile, if that was even possible.

A frown crossed his face when he notice the guy in the picture. He had his arm around her in most of the pictures. He had never seen him around the ship before. The guy wore a EAF jacket just as the other boys. He had pale skin and brown wavy hair. It didn't take Dearka long to realize this was _him_. The boy she had lost. The pilot of the blue and white skyscraper. He looked weak. Not like a strong pilot like he was. It was no surprise he had been shot down.

As he put the pictures back he noticed a crinkled partially folded piece of paper. It looked like it was tear stained. He picked it up and unfolded it. It was a letter. At the top of the page was a date. It was the dated the day before the attack on Heliopolis. He stared at it a moment. Wondering whether or not he should read it. But curiosity got the best of him. So he began to read the letter.

* * *

 _My dearest Tolle,_

 _I know things have been awkward between us for the past few days. As it should. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to tell me what you did. And it must have hurt even more when I didn't respond. Saying I love you for the first time... It must be the most difficult thing either of us have been through._

 _I'm sorry I didn't say it back. But in all honestly I couldn't lie to you. I don't feel that way about you. Not yet. What we have at least what we have right now doesn't fall into what I believe love is._

 _To me love is a confusion of feelings. It's a uncontrollable feeling and need to be with someone despite everything. Love is when you can fight with someone, be angry to the point of almost burning hate but still you need them there. Love is when no matter the distance between you, you know they will always be there for you._

 _I believe when love first starts, when it really starts you can't get the other person off your mind. They haunt you, and excite you all at the same time. And the thought of losing them in anyway crushes you. And when you kiss for the first time... It's like fireworks._

 _As for us... That's not how I feel. Not now, maybe not ever. I think we should talk. About this. A real talk. How about after we meet with the professor tomorrow. Let's say around noon?_

 _Till then_

 _Miriallia Haww_

 _P.S._

 _Lets not tell our friends know about this. We'll just smile and pretend everything is OK for now._

* * *

He couldn't believe what she had wrote. Not only did this letter seem to be a pre-break up letter but the meeting time stood out. They never got the chance to have that meeting. He knew this because Dearka and his team attacked more than an hour before that.

He began to wonder if she had ever talked to Tolle about the letter. But then again she wanted to break up. Yet they were still dating at the time of his death. Maybe being hurled into the war caused her to fall in love with him. Or maybe the war was more important than their relationship status.

Another part of her letter stood out to him. It was her description of love. It perfectly described the feelings he had been having. It explained the kiss and the butterflies. Could he really be in love with Miriallia?

Realizing how long it was taking him he quickly put the letter back. Placing the box in it's original spot he got off the bed. Looking down in her drawer below the bed he grabbed her civilian dress along with some dry undergarments. He stood up and headed back to the shower. Mir was still in there. _"Women"_ he thought as he placed her clothes on top of a towel and leaving.

He chose not to say anything. Things were awkward between them now. With the kiss. Him being naked in front of her. The letter he read. He just needed time to figure it all out. After all none of this changed the fact that in a few short hours he would be heading back to the PLANTs. As he left the room he decided to head down to the hanger and help with ship repairs.

Miriallia turned off the water. She took a deep breath. She couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Why did they do it? Why in that moment did she have the uncontrollable need to kiss him. Then again why did she run into the shower with a very naked Dearka. She blushed at the memory if his body.

She had never once seen Tolle naked. After all they were only 15 when they were in Heliopolis. Since then she had turned 16. And with her living quarters it was unlikely they would ever advance their relationship in that way until they could leave the ship. Not that she wanted to at all. Not with him.

But there was something about Dearka. Maybe it was the mystery that surrounded him? His cool confidence or his cold demeanor. The distance that he tried to make between them and yet still it seemed like he wanted to pull her close. Whatever it was she was drawn to him. And the thought of him leaving tore her up inside. She couldn't watch another man walk out of her life for good.

When Tolle left for that final battle she begged him not to go. She had a bad feeling. In that moment when he left the bridge a small part of her knew he wasn't coming back. Now the thought of Dearka leaving the ship gave her the same feeling. Did that mean he was going to die?

She shook her head of the thought. She reached for her towel and dried off. " _Why do I feel like this? It not like..."_ She thought as she began to get dressed " _it not like that kiss meant anything. He just caught me off guard with his comment."_ She tried to convince herself. " _So why… why was I so desperate to find him when they told me? Why didn't I wait for him to finish showering? Why did I need him then?"_

Her mind was flooded with questions as she made her way to her room. She laid down on the bed for a quick rest. " _He's not leaving for a few more hours. I'll rest for a few minutes. Then… maybe I can convince him to stay?"_ she thought as she laid in her bed and drifted off into a deep sleep.

Miriallia finally woke up. Her eyes scanned the room. They stopped when her eyes met the clock. She felt like her heart was being crushed. She had overslept. Really overslept. Dearka would be leaving in a little over half an hour. She needed to hurry. Maybe if she could get to him soon she could still convince him to stay. She jumped out of bed and ran towards the hanger.

"There you are Dearka" He looked up from the computer with a surprised look on his face.

"A-Athrun, what are you doing here? I thought you were on the Eternal?" Clearly he didn't expect to see his comrade.

"Ah yeah but with the shuttle coming to get you in a little bit they needed to hide the it. After all it is a stolen ZAFT ship." He replied

"Right... Probably the best decision."

"And what about your decision? Do you really think going back to PLANTs is the right choice? What if they call for a trial? If you're convicted of treason you know what they'll do to you right" he asked, concern dripping from every word.

"They will take away my life." He said simply. "But even with that risk I need to go. It's my home. For you and Lacus it makes sense for you to go to Orb. There is nothing left for you there. I still have family and friends in the PLANTs. I know it sounds selfish but for weeks they've thought I was dead. And it's time I show them I'm still alive"

"And if they convict you. You'll die and they will lose you all over again."

"I'll be fine. Trust me I never fought against any ZAFT soldiers, only EAF. Which means I stand a chance to be deemed innocent."

"Dearka..." Athrun said sadness in his voice.

"Dearka?" Both their heads turned towards the newcomer. There stood a vision of beauty. Miriallia had a refreshed look she had be lacking for so long. She had gotten some much needed sleep. They found it nice to see her in something other than that damn EAF jacket.

Dearka felt it again. Looking at her he felt that feeling again. The butterflies. A slight blush went across his face. "Haww what are you doing here" he asked standing up.

"I should go" Athrun said as he turned to leave.

"No" She exclaimed quickly "Please... Stay". She had heard their entire conversation between the two boys. As much as it hurt to admit, she needed to let him go. She couldn't ask him to come to Orb. She could tell he missed his family as she did hers.

Athrun stayed at her request but felt very awkward. He was the one who had torn the man she loved away from her. Or at least the man he assumed she loved.

"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I did earlier. I had no right to invade your privacy like that" both their face turned a bright pink. Athrun looked at them both confused. "When I heard you were going back to the PLANTs I panicked. But I should have had better control of my emotions."

"I seem to bring out the extremes in you don't I" he said referring to the time she attacked him in the sick bay. "Listen I'm sorry too. I was out of line with what I did too. I had no right to steal what I did from you"

This confused Athrun even more. How did Mir invade Dearka's privacy? And what did Dearka steal from her? Of course what he was referring to was him stealing a kiss from her. Her first kiss since Tolle.

"Good luck" she held out her hand "it was a pleasure meeting you... Eventually" a small smirk crossed her face.

"Til we met again Haww" he replied as he shook her hand.

"It's Miriallia"

"For now... It just Haww. When next I see you I call you by your name"

"And if I never see you again?"

"Kid the shuttle is in sight! Better get ready!" They heard Murdoch shout. Dearka let go Miriallia's hand a picked up his duffle bag.

"Goodbye Haww" he said mimicking a EAF sault before turning and walking away.

She stood there with Athrun watching Dearka walk towards the shuttle bay. Part of her thought it was the last time she would ever seem him. But every part of her hoped it wouldn't be.


	2. Chapter I: A Dress

Many months had passed since Dearka had walked out of her life. She heard from her contacts at Morganrate that he had not been killed. Instead he had spent some time in prison before being released a few weeks later. The new Chairwoman, Eileen Canaver, made the decision to forgive all those who performed acts of treason at the end of the war. Her reason in her words was that they couldn't let their children pay the price for the war the adults started.

She didn't know what happened to him after that. Whether he was living a simple teenage life like her or if he had re-joined ZAFT. All she knew for sure was that he was alive. For now that was enough.

As for her she was happy now. It had been five months since the war had ended. In that time she had a large emotional breakdown. The loss of Tolle combined with the uncertainty of Dearka's fate proved to be too much for her. It took a long time but eventually she began to heal.

She decided it was time to do something that she wanted. Take her life into her own hands. A week after finding out Dearka was released from prison she decided to pursue a career in photography. After joining a few classes she found she really had a knack for it. It brought her so much joy. It was much of the reason her heart began to heal.

In the recent weeks she decided she wanted to be a photojournalist. She wanted to travel the world and document the tragedies the war left behind. Her photography instructor however didn't believe she had what it took. He told her although she had the skills required to take wonderful emotion filled pictures she wasn't bold enough to do the job. She needed to be a risk taker. And he didn't believe she was.

Maybe he was right about her. She love photography. She could still be a photographer whether or not she was a photojournalist. So maybe she could just take pictures of babies and weddings. After all the only bold thing she done in her life was joining the military, and she didn't do that alone. So maybe she should just give up.

"Miriallia this just arrived for you" her mother said as she entered the room. She handed her a very elegant envelope.

"Thank you mother" she sat down on the sofa and open the envelope. Inside was a very expensive looking invitation. It was on a very thick piece of satin paper with gold embossed lettering. It was an invite to the ball that was being held at the Athha mansion tonight. It was to honor the pending signing of the treaty between the PLANTs and Orb

Along with the invitation there was a personal letter. It was addressed to her from Princess Cagalli Yula Athha. The current Orb representative and a former ally in the war.

* * *

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _It been a long time. It has been difficult to remain in touch after all the tragedies left behind by the war and the attack on Orb. I was hoping to see you tonight at the ball. It would be nice to see a friendly face. Someone who will actually talk to me about life not strategies and politics._

 _We wish to honor all the crew of the ARCHANGEL. It wouldn't be the same without you. I hope to see you there_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Cagalli_

 _P.S._

 _If you agree to attend please go to the attached address. There you will be fitted for a gown and have hair and make-up done, fit for a princess. All expenses will be cover._

* * *

"You should go."

"Mother?" She looked at her mother confused. Yes it was true she was questioning whether or not to go but why was he mother pushing her to do so? Her parents had been doing nothing but trying to keep her away from reminders of the war since she left the military. So why push her to be thrown back in around all the people that would remind her of all she had been through and all she lost?

"I know it's the last thing you would think I would say. The truth is the idea of you being around that crew again makes me nervous. But you need this. At least I think you do. I overheard you talking to Sai on the phone one night. You want to be a photojournalist?"

"Yes. But my instructor says I'm not bold enough. So I've decided to let that idea go. Besides if I was a photojournalist I would be around all that war stuff. I know you wouldn't like that idea"

"Miriallia, we've done nothing but try to protect you from harm ever since you got back. We knew how fragile you were. You had lost so much. Your friends, your boyfriend, you innocences"

"My innocences?"

"Don't get me wrong Miriallia I'm not saying you gave away your virtue"

" _Good"_ Miriallia thought. She didn't want her mother thinking she wasn't a virgin anymore. She had maintained that part of her innocences. But maybe the part her mother was talk about was her naivete. She was no longer blind to the chaos around her. The most dramatic thing in her life use to be Tolle saying "I love you" and her not saying it back. Now it was Tolle was killed in battle. She possible fell in love with a coordinator who was a former enemy. Whom then walked off to what may have very well been his death. All among a war. The grandest war in history.

"Everything you have been through has made you have to grow up so fast. You're turning 17 soon. But it already seem like you are a full fledged adult. The things you have been through were horrible. I didn't want you to ever have to think of them"

"I know. It's to protect me. Without you two I may have never healed after everything"

"Even so I think we were fools to keep you shielded for so long. You can't use us as a crutch for the rest of your life. Be bold Miriallia. Prove you instructor wrong. Follow your dream. Even if to follow your dream you have to walk hand in hand with the nightmare"

"Mom… thank you" Her mother was right. She needed to step back out into the world. She could hide from it all forever. "Hand me that address" She said with a large smile on her face.

When she arrived at the shop she couldn't believe her eyes. There were so many elegant gowns, jewels and shoes! She had only seen such things in movies. Never in her wildest dreams did she think a place like this actually existed.

"Hello, can we help you?" The clerk said in a serious tone with one eyebrow raised. She looked Mir up and down. Clearly questioning why a girl in shorts, a tank top and sneakers would be doing in an upscale boutique like this.

"Hi" she replied nervously "Cagalli sent me. I'm Miriallia Haww she told me to come to this address if I decided to attend the ball" Suddenly the clerk's face changed from a skeptical one to extremely excited.

"Oh my how exciting! I'm so glad you decided to come" She exclaimed as she grabbed Miriallia's hand and lead her to the back "Cagalli was here earlier today and pulled some dresses she thought you might like. We don't have much time to pick one and get you ready. You don't want to be late to your first ball. Especially one you're being honored at. So try a few on a pick which ever one speaks to you"

This woman sure did talk a lot. Miriallia looked around at all the dresses. They were beautiful. All we warm colors; reds, oranges, yellows, pinks. They were all colors Mir felt safe and comfortable in. She tried on a couple of gowns. They all looked good even great on her. But they were the safe choice.

"You don't look to excited. Time is running out you need to pick one soon honey" Honey? Suddenly a flash of Dearka's face popped into her head. Remembering the time he was in prison and he call her honey brought a sad look across her face. She hadn't thought of him in months. She had convinced herself she would never see that boy again. He was another lifetime ago. She needed to move on. He was the past not the present.

She turned her head so the clerk wouldn't see the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. As she turned her head a dress caught her eye. There was something about it. It wasn't at all her, or at least who she use to be. But somehow now in her life it seem perfect. "What about that one" she said excitedly.

"Really that one." she asked confused

"Yes if that is alright"

"Yes of course. It clearly speaks to you. The way you're reacting it like when a woman finds that perfect wedding gown. Let get you in it"

Miriallia put on the dress. It wasn't her and yet it was. Looking in the mirror she realized she had be trying so hard to be the person she was before the war. But that could never be. In lots of ways that girl died when Tolle did. Or maybe it was when ZAFT attacked Heliopolis. Either way she was crazy to think she could go back. She was a new person and she needed to embrace that. "This… it's the one for sure. It's me"

"Then lets get you ready. If were not careful you'll be late." She said it a soft voice.

*Clap* *Clap*

"Okay everyone! We need HAIR! MAKE-UP! AND SHOES! NOW LETS GO GO GO!" The woman yelled as Mir was escorted to a chair and surrounded by a swarm of people. It was like nothing she ever experienced. It was time for the new her to be presented to the world.

Her limo finally pulled up to the Athha maision. It was so large and grand. She walked up the large from staircase. She wore a white hooded cape that covered most of her dress. Very few guests we making their way up the stairs at the same time as her. Was she late? or perhaps early?

When she arrived at the top of the stairs she showed him the invite and informed him of her name. "Ah Miss Haww. We have been waiting for your arrival" He said kindly.

"Am I late?"

"No Mme. Just in time" he replied as he motioned her to enter. She was guided down a great hall down a different direction then the rest of the guests. She was being escorted by and older female maid.

"Umm…. excuse me? Where are we going?"

The maid looked at her with a smile on her face. "The crew of the ARCHANGEL are all honored guests. It is tradition that all honored guests be presented and introduced in front of all the other guests."

Miriallia could feel nerves building up. Maybe she should have gone with one of Cagalli suggestions. As she got closer she could hear each crew member be announced. Each of them descending a grand marble staircase. She made her way to the back. She was the last crew member to arrive. " _Great"_ She thought. " _Now I'll be the freshest in their minds"_

"Name and position" Someone ask as she got closer to the front of the line. As he prepared each member for their decent.

"Miriallia Haww. Former CIC of the ARCHANGEL" She whispered back. She looked down. She caught a glimpse of the guests. She could see a clear division of the coordinators and naturals. They didn't seem to be mingling. Lucky for her though they also seem to not be really paying attention to the guest being announced.

Across the room Miriallia neglected to notice someone. Someone who she missed dearly. "I don't get why we had to come to this damn thing!" A young man snarled.

"Come on Yzak. You know it is our duty as both ZAFT soldiers and being the sons of council members" the other boy replied.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. Beside Dearka I don't think you being around naturals is the best idea. Their influence on you got you in trouble once. I don't want it to happen again." He said seriously.

"I'm sure Dearka will keep out of trouble. He learned his lesson right Dearka?" asked the young woman who stood next to them. She was beautiful and serious looking. She had long brunette hair that was tied back in a high ponytail for the night. She wore a long elegant red ball gown which she described as itchy. She didn't want to be there either but her commander insisted she go. And how could she say no to such a request? Not only was it a request from her commanding officer but also from her boyfriend of three months.

"I know I know Shiho! I promise I'll St-"

"AND FINALLY ANNOUNCING MISS MIRIALLIA HAWW! FORMER CIC OF THE ARCHANGEL" the man at the top of the staircase announced.

" _That name"_ Dearka thought " _She's… She's here!_ " Dearka turned hesitantly towards the stairs. Yzak and Shiho could see his demeanor changed so suddenly. His carefree face turned serious. They all looked towards the staircase.

Miriallia made her way to the top of the stairs where she was visible to all. Her hair had grown a bit since the war. It was long enough now for a updo. Small diamond pins sparkled in her hair. Her shoes were sparkling black stilettos. The rest of her outfit was covered by her long white cape. She was about to start descending the staircase when the announcer stopped her. "Your cape Mme" he whispered softly to her.

"Right sorry" she whispered back before slowly removing it. As small gasp and whispers could be heard around the room. As she lifted her head and looked at the guests the room fell silent. All eyes were suddenly on her. No other crew member had commanded such attention, surprisingly not even Lacus Clyne. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves before placing her hand on the railing to descend the stairs.

Dearka couldn't believe his eyes. When he first met her he thought she was cute. When she start visiting him in his cell he thought she was pretty. When she yelled at him when he came to the ship he thought maybe she was beautiful. Seeing her smile in picture made him know she was beautiful. The last time he saw her with her in her orange civilian dress he thought never could she be more beautiful to him then she was right then. But somehow he was wrong.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her as she descended the stairs. "She gorgeous" the words just slipped out of his mouth in a low husky whisper. Part of him hoped no one heard him say such words about a natual, the other part didn't care who heard. He looked at her wishing he could stop staring. Most of all he wished he could stop every other man from staring at _his_ Miriallia. But how could he blame them with her in that dress.

It was a long black fitted dress. Hugging every curve of her body. There was a deep plunging neckline that ended only just above her belly button. The side of her supple breast exposed slightly. And if that was enough to catch every man's eyes there was a slit in the left side of her dress that went high, very high up her thigh. So high he almost wondered if her underwear were close to showing. Then again a dress that fitted maybe there was no room for those. She shook his head of the thought.

She sparkled too as she descended as if the slits weren't enough to draw your eyes to her. She wore a long diamond necklace. It went down almost as far as the neckline itself. To finish of the look she wore simple diamond earrings and very natural make-up. There was no doubt in his mind she was the most beautiful creature in the room, natural or coordinator.

"You know her?" Yzak asked eyebrow raise.

"Seems like another lifetime ago now. But yeah. In the sense that I was a pilot and she was the CIC" He didn't want to claim knowing her beyond that. He was now a lieutenant in the ZAFT military under Yzak's command he didn't want to risk his position. Not after the trouble he got himself into last time.

Mirillia finally made it to the bottom of the stairs. She could hear whispers all around her. Mostly woman scolding their dates for staring at her. Finally she arrived to the area most of the former crew had assembled.

Waving slightly "Hey everyone!" She said in a friendly tone with a large smile plastered all over her face.

"You sure know how to make and entrance. I've never seen such a large crowd focus on one person like that before. You look incredible"

"Thank you Captain"

"Call me Murre. I'm not your captain anymore" She said as she embraced Miriallia for a hug. And handed her a glass of campaign.

"WELCOME EVERYONE!" Cagalli's voice boomed over the sound system. Quickly some workers adjusted the mics volume before motioning her to continue. Everyone fell silent and looked up at her. She was wearing a simple modest light blue ball gown. Her hair was lightly pinned up. Athrun stood off to the side as support and also as her escort for the night.

"I'd like to thank all of you for coming tonight from far and wide. Tonight not only do we wish to celebrate the pending signing of the treaty but also we would like to honor the ARCHANGEL and her crew. Without the dedicated crew I don't think any of this tonight would be possible. It was because of their decision to desert the military along with many others that the thought of what we were fighting for change."

She took a deep breath. She hated addressing so many people. Nervously she continued. "Some is killed for killing another. And then that person is killed for killing them. It was an endless cycle we were all trapped in. Somehow the desire to protect our home became a desire to eliminate one another. That is not what we should have been fighting for. We should have fought for peace and unity." She looked out in the crowd. it saddened her to see such a division still between the nations.

"We all want the same thing. To live in a safe happy world. whether that world be Earth or the PLANTs" She raised her glass of champagne. Everyone following suit. "TO THE PEACE OF ALL NATIONS!"

"TO THE PEACE OF ALL NATIONS!" Everyone yelled as they drank from there glasses.


	3. Chapter II: A Dance

The night was going well so far. After Cagalli's speech Chairwoman Canaver called for a moment of silence for all those lost in the war. Following that the music started and everyone began to dance. Miriallia was amazed at how even dancing around the ballroom the naturals and coordinators seem to stay separated. It saddened her. If only there was some way to show them all that it is possible for naturals and coordinators to get along.

Maybe the truth was that they couldn't. Maybe all this was a futile attempt at peace. Maybe soon… soon it would all begin again. The slaughter of one another. It was depressing to think about.

"You are certainly a beautiful one" Miriallia jumped at the voice that broke her from her thoughts. She turned to greet the man. She had never met him before. But she remembered his face from the news. He was always in the background of all the press conferences Cagalli held.

"Thank you" she replied nervously.

He reached out his hand to shake hers. "Yuna Roma Seiran" He said as they shook "I would love to have a dance with you. A woman of your beauty shouldn't stand on the sidelines she should be shown off to the world." Before she had time to reply he began to guide her to the middle of the dance floor. She quickly set her glass down as she passed a near by table.

If he had waited for her to reply he would have gotten a 'No'. She knew exactly who he was. She knew his opinions on coordinators. He hated them although in Orb he never boasted those opinions, but she could tell. His contempt for them was written all over his face. She didn't want in anyway to be associated with such a man.

*Clap* *Clap*

When they reached the middle of the dance floor he clapped twice. This caused everyone on the dance floor to move to the sidelines. All eyes were once again on her and she hated it. The music changed and Yuna pulled her close. Her pressed her hard against him. She felt too close to him for comfort.

"A woman like you I like seeing laying on my bed. And in a dress like that I can think of many things we could do together" he whispered in her ear seductively. Sending chills down her spine. She closed her eyes wishing the dance to just end and she could get far, far away from him.

Dearka watched from the sidelines. He didn't like it, not one bit. This horrible guy was all over her. He watched as Yuna's hand went from the small of her back to her rear pressing her pelvis to his. It disgusted him. He could see the fear in her eyes. She was begging someone, anyone to get him away from her. The angry was overtaking Dearka. So much so that he shattered the empty glass in his hand. Luckily for him only his two comrades noticed.

"Dearka are you OK" Shiho asked concerned.

"I will be once I get that son of a bitch off her" he said angrily and full of hate. Setting the broken glass down he turned to leave. Only to be stopped by a hand on his tux jacket.

"Remember this is a ball for peace. Don't do anything you'll regret." Yzak warned before let him go.

As Dearka walk across the dance floor he could feel everyone watching him. Judging him. Wondering what he was doing. He, a coordinator, was walking up to two naturals dancing. His hands were clenched into tight fist. He wanted to slug the guy. Rip him off her. Beat him within an inch of his life. To tell him to leave his woman alone.

But... she wasn't his. She was just a girl he kissed once. Someone who needed comforting at the end of the war. Someone he missed, and he wondered if she really missed him to. Or was that just a fantasy. This thought calm him enough to think rationally about his next move. When he reached the couple he tapped on the man's shoulder.

When Yuna looked over at him he thought "Now's my opportunity if I want to hit him in that smug face." But with Yzak's words echoed in his head he decided on a different course of action. "May I cut in?"

"That voice... Could it be" Miriallia looked. Tears at the corners of her eyes... it was. Her knight. This was the second time in Orb he saved her. The first being when he fired the BUSTER to save the ARCHANGEL. And now he was saving her from a guy getting way way too invasive. A man she feared was going to try to rip her virtue away.

"This is a private dance buddy. Why don't you just find some coordinator girl to dance with you" he snapped back emphasising the coordinator to show his contempt for the race. He turned his attention back to the young girl in his arms.

Miriallia looked Dearka straight in the eyes. She was begging him to do something. If this was any other ball he would deal with the consequences and slug the guy. But he couldn't do that. Strength was not going to help him here. He needed his wits.

"It's my understanding that in polite society if a man asks to cut in it is the woman's decision if she would like to accept" he looked at Miriallia with the kindest eyes she had ever seen on him. "So... Miriallia would you do me the honor of this dance?" He said reaching his hand up waiting for hers. It was the first time she had ever heard him say her name. He always called her Haww. But just like he promised he would the next time he saw her, he used her first name.

Chatter could be heard all around the room. Was a coordinator really asking a natural to dance. "I'm sure she wouldn't wa-"

"I can't think of anything I want more" she interrupted. Pushing herself off Yuna she grabbed Dearka hand. He lead her to another part of the dance floor. Wrapping his arm around her waist and placing the other hand in hers they began to dance. Angry Yuna headed to the sidelines. Everyone continued to gossip about the strangeness of it all. A natural and a coordinator... It was unheard of.

They didn't care though. They were lost in each others eyes as they gracefully moved around the dancefloor. There it was. That feeling. The butterflies they hadn't felt in months. They wanted nothing more than to kiss each other. But with the fuss going on with them dancing together they feared a kiss would cause a riot. Besides they didn't know how they other really felt. They both believed this was just one sided.

Wanting to relieve the couple from the focus Kira and Lacus made their way to the dance floor too. Slowly members of the ARCHANGEL flooded the dance floor. Soon followed by many others attending the ball. When the song ended Mir and Dearka looked around them. No longer was there a clear division of naturals and coordinators. They were all mingling with one another. Laughing, dancing, talking about politics and their lives. Their dance had managed to break through the thick ice between the two groups. Maybe... Just maybe there was hope just yet.

"I should probably go sit down… my feet are killing me" she said as she turned to walk away. "You should go see your friends" she smiled. "Thank you for helping me back there. It meant a lot to me."

"Are you sure you want me to leave?" he asked concern. The guy was just all over her. And he fear he wouldn't be the last.

"Yes I'll be fine. I think you just scared any guys from coming near me again." She mimicked a ZAFT sault before walking off. Dearka watched her retreat through the crowd wishing he was beside her.

"Tell me again how you know her"

"Ahhh…" Yzak sudden appearance surprised him. "What do you mean I already told you. She was the CIC and I was a pilot. Just like I said."

"Don't give me that bullshit. If that was really all there was you wouldn't have gotten that angry. I know you. I have known you since we were kids. And I've never seen you that angry about anything"

"Just drop it Yzak."

"Why wer-"

"You're in love with her" Shiho said suddenly. Surprising both the boys. Yzak laughed at such a suggestion until us looked at Dearka. He was looking down at the floor shame all over his face.

"No you can't be… She's a natural Dearka" He said in a low voice so no one could hear their conversation.

"It's not like I meant for it to happen. Besides I'm sure she doesn't feel the same way. I know this feeling will go away eventually. I just have to wait it out."

"I'm sorry Dearka. But love doesn't work that way. You haven't seen her in five months and yet the moment you heard her name called out the look on your face spelled it out. If you two were the only ones in the room you would have run to her. So why not do that now"

"Shiho are you crazy! She's a natural you can't honestly be supporting this!"

"And why not? He supported you and I so why can't I support him?"

"That's differ-"

"No it's not. Love is love Yzak." She turned her attention back to Dearka. "We're in Orb for a few more days. Why don't you find her and talk to her. You don't need to confess your feelings. But after what that guy just pulled with her I think she needs someone she trusts with her." Dearka nodded silently and started to make his way through the crowd.

"Miriallia" Cagalli yelled. Mir turned to see the beautiful princess just in time to hold her arms out to receive a hug. "You look beautiful." She said before pulling away "I'm so sorry for what Yuna pulled. He thinks that every woman swoons after him but really he's just a creep."

"Yeah… I really didn't want to dance at all but he didn't really give me a chance to say no."

"Lucky for you Dearka was there. Although Athrun was worried we were about to have an huge international incident on our hands."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never seen that look on Dearka's face before" Athrun replied. "It was full of hate and anger. I thought he was going to beat Yuna to a blood pulp. Luckily though he was able to control himself."

"I don't know if I would have stopped him it he did try" Mir replied "Yuna is nothing but a creep. I don't think a dance was going to be the only thing he would have tried to force on me"

Cagalli looked at her worried "What did he say to you?"

"..."

"Miriallia?" She could see the tears still at the corners of her eyes. She was lost in thought and sad looking.

"It's my fault. I should have worn a dress like this if I didn't want men trying things"

"Mir tell me what he said to you. I'll make sure he is reprimanded for it." She was concerned. She knew what Miriallia had been though. After the battle Tolle was killed in she was sent to the island to search the beach for any chance the two boys could still be alive. She remembers them yelling they found a body. They had already found Athrun and moved him to the airship. Part of her hoped the found Kira alive. But instead it was Tolle. It was a gruesome sight, one that still haunted her. He was dead without question. And there was nothing they could do for him except bring his body back for a proper burial.

"No Cagalli. It's fine really. I just need to get some fresh air." She looked around the room for an exit. She just needed to get out of this room. Away from the whispers and gossip. The stares and judgement. And Yuna… Especially Yuna. She needed to be anywhere but there. But most off all she needed to get these horrible uncomfortable shoes of her feet.

"If that is really what you want" she took a deep breath before pointing "If you go out that doorway then down the hall you will come to a door that will lead you out to the garden. You can relax out there for a while. But promise you'll come back in later. Don't let that jerk ruin your whole night"

"I promise" giving Cagalli another hug she made her way to the doorway her friend pointed out. Completely unaware that a certain blond had his sights set on her.


	4. Chapter III: A Swing

Miriallia made her way out into the garden. A cold breeze blew. Across the garden she noticed and old swing attached to a tree in front of a pond. She slowly walked over to it. Removing her shoes she felt her height drop nearly 4 inches. Lifting up the side of her dress she sat on the swing. It creaked slightly at the weight that was trusted upon it. She held the ropes in each of her hands and looked up at the night's sky.

It was beautiful and calm. You could see the moon so clearly tonight. It was full. No wonder the day had been so crazy. In the sky far off in the distance she could even she the PLANTs.

"Dearka… you're always watching over me aren't you" she thought before look down at her lap. She was surprised to see tears falling on her lap. Maybe she wasn't ready for all this. Maybe her instructor was right. She tried being bold but it just seemed to get her in trouble. Yuna had tried to force himself on her. If it hadn't been for Dearka where would she be now? Being forcefully kissed or worst?

Suddenly she felt hands lay gently on top of hers. It startled her. She look over at her hands. Terrified it would be Yuna. But instead she saw tanned hands. In that moment she never felt more safe and comfortable in her life. Looking up to the sky she enjoyed the silence as he lightly pushed her. Eventually she spoke breaking the silence "I thought I told you I was fine and to go see your friends"

"Yeah, and I did. Then it occurred to me I can see them any day I want. But you… I never thought I would see you again when I left the first time. I would be a fool if I let this opportunity slip through my fingers." His heart was beating so fast. Normally being smooth with women came with ease, but with her it was hard to even form words. She made him so nervous and excited all that the same time.

Mir found it hard to breath suddenly. There was a long nervous pause before she finally answered "Why would you want to waste your time with a natural like me" with that Dearka swung the swing around twisting the ropes above her hands. He stared her down lust filling his eyes.

"Because when I look at you… when I'm near you… when I touch you" he said as he lifted her chin so she would look him in the eyes "I feel something I've never felt before in my entire life. I feel nervous and scared. And in my stomach I feel these… these" He looked confused trying to find the words.

"Butterflies?" She asked.

"Y-yes… B-Butterflies" Miriallia stood up from the swing grabbing his hand. She seemed desperate as she guided him behind the tree. They were completely out of sight of the guest inside the mansion. She leaned herself against the tree and placed her arms around his neck. Pulling him down to kiss her. Both their stomachs filled with the same sensation. The butterflies.

Their kiss deepened. It was so much more passionate than their first. She kept begging for more. Soon she was hoisting herself up wrapping her legs around his waist. Was this it? Was she about to give away the last of her innocence to him? Finally they broke their lips apart. Dearka looked at he in all seriousness.

"I read the letter" he confessed before putting her down. He turned away. He could see she was horrified at what he had just said.

"What do you mean? What letter? When?" She yelled angrily and panicked.

"The one you wrote to Tolle. The day before Heliopolis fell. I read it that day that you know… we 'talked' in the shower" although he knew it wasn't the most accurate way to describe their encounter he knew it was the easiest.

"You had no right" she cried out. "Why would you even thi-"

"Did you love him? If we hadn't attacked that day would you have even still been with him?"

"I-I don't know"

"Judging from what I read you were ready to go your separate ways." the tears were free falling down her face. He was right she would have broken up with him. She didn't love him and she knew she never would. Not the way he wanted her to. "When I first met you I thought you hated me. You were angry and full of sadness. I thought it was all my fault. But after reading that letter I began to wonder… maybe the person you hated was yourself. You thought he died thinking you didn't love him." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. "But you did… maybe not in the way that he loved you but you loved him. No one falls apart like that without feeling some love towards the other person. And I'm sure he felt every bit of love you had for him… even in the end" he turned to face her.

"Why are you telling me all this. I haven't even thought of that letter since I left the war. I've moved on from him and all my feelings about that time. I wanted to move on and have a normal life. To have a healthy relationship with someone. So why! Why are you bring all this up now of all times!?"

"Because I want to be honest with you. I don't want to go forward in our lives having secrets. That letter was something personal. I should have never read it. I should have stopped reading it as soon as I realized what it was about. But I didn't. I kept reading it. Now you have to ask yourself can you forgive me for doing so? Or did I cross a line that can't be uncrossed"

She looked at him. He was sad. But he was right. She didn't know what was happening between them. If there was any chance that this was the start of a relationship, a real relationship, then they couldn't have any secrets or lies between them. It was better to find this out now then when she was fully committed to whatever this was. "Dearka..." she said sadly.

He reached in his pocket. He pulled out a keycard "Don't answer now. It would be unfair to you to ask you to answer right away. If you think there is any possibility that… that a natural and a coordinator can be together, and that we are such a couple… then meet me at my hotel room. Tonight after the ball. We can talk more there." With that he walked passed her and off towards the door.

She watched him walk off once again. If she didn't forgive him it would be the last time she ever saw him. She looked down at the key in her hand. Could she really forgive him? After all it was just a letter… right.

Dearka made his way back into the ballroom. The party was in full swing. Looking around the room he was proud. To think the two of them had done this. The simple gesture of them dancing with one another gave everyone the permission to mingle. No one wanted to be the first to make a move. But after their display it was hard not to.

She had changed him so much. She had melted his cold heart. She broke through the walls he had put up to protect himself. Since meeting her no other girl was good enough. They were always flirting with him, but he no longer flirted back. It seemed wrong. They were only a mere shell of the really thing. They could never compare to Miriallia.

"Dearka!" he turned to greet the familiar voice.

"Kira, It's nice to see you again" he replied as they shook hands.

"Thank you for helping Miriallia back there. I wanted to do something but I hesitated before I noticed you were making your way towards them. I'm sure she was glad to see you too"

"Yeah… I don't know exactly what he said to her but she looked pretty upset. If he was just some guy and not a Seiran I would have slugged him or at the very least given him a piece of my mind."

"It better that you didn't. Violence is not always the answer. And look at what the two of accomplished by resolving it peacefully. You showed the leaders of both Orb and the PLANTs that naturals and coordinators can come together and create something beautiful."

"I was only trying to protect her" he said sincerely.

"It was that feeling and need to protect her that moved everyone." he replied. they were silent for a moment before Kira spoke again. "She likes you you know"

"Huh?"

"Miriallia. I don't know if she will ever admit it but it crushed her when you left. She asked Murdoch to keep her posted on any news on your situation. She asked him not to say anything. But he was concerned about her and told me. I worry about her sometimes… still even now."

"I never realized she worried about that. "

"Tolle told me it was over between them. That it was only a matter of time. He knew once they left the military their relationship would end. They were just waiting for the right time to have the talk. But still he did everything in his power to protect her... even if it would cost him his life."

"There is just something about that girl. You can't help but want to protect her"

"I know it was because of her you helped us. It seems so clear now… the feelings you have for her as well. And for that I thank you. If it wasn't for you none of this would have been possible. If we had lost the ARCHANGEL in that battle Orb would have fallen and none of this would have come to pass." suddenly his face became very serious "But if you ever hurt her then I'll have to change my opinion on violence. Mir is my friend and I won't let any guy hurt her. Understood?"

"Of course." It was a promise Dearka had no intentions of ever breaking. So long as Miriallia gave him the chance to keep it.


	5. Chapter IV: A Hotel

The night had seemed so long. Luckily all the drama had passed in the first hour. He never really enjoyed balls. They were so formal and he had to act like a proper young gentleman. If not his father would scold him for disgracing the family. Not that his father really spoke to him anymore. After the war when Dearka showed up on his doorstep he responded by having a swarm of ZAFT soldiers arrest him.

His father was never known for subtlety. Nor was he known for being affectionate towards his son. He was a man of business. Affection was reserved for special occasions and love was a luxury his family could not afford. In the PLANTs high society was driven by politics and business deals. Love was no exception. Marriage was just another business transaction between two people. Love could develop after that.

Dearka was to partake in one of these transactions. And at one time there was a girl, Ari something. But after he showed up on his father's doorstep after disgracing him so, it was all called off. Much to his relief. He couldn't imagine marrying someone he didn't love. Not after feeling what love… real love was.

Although now he didn't know what to think. He wondered if he ruined everything between he and Mir. He tried his hardest to give her space for the rest of the night only to break down an hour later. He tried to find her but no luck. He overheard someone saying they thought she left. He felt rejected. For a moment he almost fell back into old habits when the girls around him started to flirt. But he kept his composer. He still wanted Mir. These girls were not her.

He finally made it to the floor of his hotel room. He slowly dragged his feet down the hall and towards his room. He was tired and disappointed. He knew he ruined everything. He shouldn't have told her about the letter. He should have kept kissing her… and then what. Would he have kept the secret from her for the rest of his life? What would have really happened if he said nothing. Would he have taken her right there? Outside against a tree of all places. He looked down at the floor as he open the door.

As he walk through the door he noticed something on the floor. A pair of 4-inch black sparkly stilettos. Shocked he slowly and cautiously looked up just in time to see Miriallia turn around from across the room. They stared each other down for a moment. Neither one really knew what to say. She was here. Did that mean she forgave him?

"Mir?"

"I-I don't know if I can forgive you for reading the letter. It was personal. And you had no right." She stated "But… that doesn't mean I'm not willing to move past it. I want to get to know you. The real you. Not the soldier of ZAFT, not the ARCHANGEL's prisoner, and not the guy who deflected to the Three Ships Alliance. I want to get to know you. The you that you were before the war, and the you that you are now."

"How much time do you have?" he asked as he looked at her beauty reflecting in the moonlight.

"All night. I already called my parents and told them I was staying with a friend. You're right there is something here... between us. I don't want to let it slip through our fingers again"

Dearka walk over to the coffee machine and started it. Then he started to remove his tux jacket. "Then let get comfy. I have some boxers and a old t-shirt you can change into." he said as he walked over and reached into his bag. He pulled out some comfy PJ bottoms and a t-shirt for himself a well. "What's wrong?" he asked when he handed her the clothes. Her face was many shades of pink.

"It's just well… I'm only wearing this dress" she stated embarrassed. She paused and repeated "ONLY this dress".

He chuckled "I figured and much. Don't worry the clothes are clean and new. Plus the shirt will be so loose I won't be able to even tell you have a chest"

She smiled and nodded as she headed to the bathroom to change. Dearka opted to change right there in the sitting room. The hotel room was decently big. It had a large king size bed along with a separate sitting room. There was a large couch that sat in front of a 42" tv.

The coffee maker beeped indicating the coffee was done. He walked over pouring two cups before going to sit on the couch. He place both cups on the coffee table and waited. He knew she would be a while. Dresses like that were more complicated to get out of than one would think. When wearing a dress like that you are more concerned with staying in it then getting out.

Finally she emerged from the bathroom. Her hair was still all done up but now instead of an elegant dress she was in his boxers and t-shirt. She had never looked more sexy to him then she did right now. He started to realized maybe it wasn't her becoming more beautiful every time he saw her. Maybe the truth was he was just falling more and more in love with her. "So how do you want to do this?" He asked as she sat on the couch turning so they could look at one another.

"I was thinking we could take turns asking questions. We'll answer honestly and then ask another in return. I think we both want to know more about each other before we proceed."

"Right. Sound good to me… so lets get this thing started. Ask away"

"Ok...Why did you join the military?" It was a much more loaded question then she had realized. She thought it was a simple ice breaker question. She was expecting him to say to 'protect his country' or 'because he felt it was his duty'. She could see his hesitation. He broke eye contact and took a deep breath before answering.

"I was running away from home" he replied softly. He looked back at her. She looked confused. "I don't know what you think life on the PLANTs is like or at least what my life was like. For your average joe maybe life is a lot like it is here. But for those in high society. For those rare few that are children of the council it was different." she never realized he too was a councilman's son. That made four of them. All four from the Rau Le Creuset team were councilman's son. Maybe that is why they were the ones chosen to attack Heliopolis and take control of those machines.

"I guess I never really thought about it."

"My life… it was not going the way I wanted it to. I was set to marry some horrible girl… Ari Gould. I couldn't stand her. But there was no real way out of it. The wedding was coming up and I was scared I was going to be trapped. But then… Junius 7 was destroyed. Chaos engulfed the PLANTs. I took that as my opportunity to run. I joined the military. By the time my father finally tracked me down there was nothing he could do about it. My skills had earned me elite status and if he pulled me out then… he would have disgraced the family more than I did by running away. So they postponed the wedding until my deployment was over and I returned to the PLANTs"

"But you never got married?" she questioned looking at his hands.

"The next time I went home to the PLANTs was after I left you. It had been over a year since I was home. I had disgraced my family name on a grand scale. I helped naturals and in my father's eyes there was nothing worst I could have done. And so the wedding was off once again. He couldn't rightfully ask some poor girl to marry an ex-soldier who helped the enemy."

"So you were engaged when w-"

"It's my turn to ask a question now." he interrupted. He didn't want her feeling guilty about their first kiss. It was in the moment and beautiful. It was everything he wanted and more. Even if she was a natural. "Why, despite every opportunity you had to leave, why did you stay on the ARCHANGEL?"

She had never really thought of her reason before. She took a minute to think before replying "I guess… I needed to see it through to the end. I was the one who first suggested we help out on the ship. After seeing the war… the true war I couldn't just go home and pretend like it wasn't happening. I just needed to be there no matter what. I thought maybe I was making a mistake when I stayed before the battle in Orb. But then… when you saved us I knew I made the right choice. And now that it is all over I'm glad I stayed. If I didn't I would have never met you."

"Mir" They both leaned in and kissed. They looked at each other and smiled.

"So you told me somewhat about your father. What about your mother? Is she?" she didn't really what to ask if she was dead or alive but it was clear his father would never approve of their union. So maybe his mother would be on their side?

"She is an amazing woman. She is very kind and good natured. But she supports my father in every decision even if she doesn't agree with it. I can remember as a child he would rant about this or that. She would nod her head in agreeance but I knew by the look on her face she didn't always agree. But that is life for those in our society. The husband is the man of the house and what he says is law. You are to follow him no matter what. Seems archaic I know but that is how it is there. And despite how kind and amazing she is, she is an even better wife. That's why when I was arrested even though I could tell she want to scream out for them to stop, she just turned a blind eye to it all."

"I'm sorry… I don't mean to keep asking things that will upset you"

"It's ok. It's nice to get to talk about this. It's nice to talk to someone who doesn't think all of this is normal" It was true. Most of his friends were children of the council. So although they all understood what he was going through they all thought it was just normal life. "How about we ask some less loaded questions? So… what exactly have you been occupying your time with since the war? Did you go back to school? Or get a job?"

"Well… if my options are school or a job I guess I would say school. Although it really is just a few night classes."

"What are you studying?"

"Photography. I've actually gotten pretty good at it. My instructor is always giving me praise."

Dearka smiled he could see how excited she was when she spoke. She truly was happy. "So what is the next step. Once you finish your classes where will you take all of it next?"

"Where do I want to take it or where does my instructor think I can?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes… in a sense." He could feel her disappointment. "I want to travel the world. I would love to document the things and the places the war left behind. I want to show everyone why another war should never be allowed to happen. Just like I couldn't sit around and let others fight in the war and do nothing, I can't just sit around now. But… my instructor, he doesn't think I'm bold enough or a big enough risk taker to be any good. So now I'm thinking of opening a studio somewhere close to home."

"That's bullshit!" Dearka yelled out in response "I don't care what kind of credentials this 'instructor' of yours has but he is all wrong about you. I know I haven't really known you that long but from what I have learned about you… you're amazing. You're brave and kind. You've stared death in the face everyday you we involved in the war. You almost took a life, granted it was mine, but then you chose to save me at the risk of your own life. Countless times you chose to fight over running away. You felt the pain of loss. You're too modest if you think you are not bold or a great risk taker." Miriallia just stared at him in shock before a huge smile came across her face. "What?"

"You really think that highly of me?"

"Yeah… I guess I do"

Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes into hours. They talked most of the night away. They talked about music and art, about movie, tv, books the list went on. They spoke of their friends and the crazy funny stories. It was one of those long talks where you tried to fight the urge to sleep so as not to ruin the moment. But eventually Mir's heavy eyes defeated her and she drifted off to sleep. For a while Dearka just watched her sleep. He had never felt so happy or close to anyone in his entire life. He knew in that moment he did love her. Somehow… someway he would spend the rest of his life with her. Even if it took him years to accomplish it.

He stood up. Picking up his sleeping beauty he walked over to the bed and laid her down. She looked so peaceful. A smile still crossed her lips as she slept. He curled up beside her and let sleep take him too. It felt so right to sleep next to her. He didn't want it to be his last.

Morning finally came. Dearka laid on his side and he watched the beautiful woman next to him slowly wake. She groaned slightly and she rubbed her eyes and sat up. She looked over at her handsome companion. His hair was a mess from the bed head… but she knew hers couldn't have been much better. She could help but notice how happy he looked staring at her.

"What? Is there something on my face? Or is my hair a complete mess? You know yours it's the best loo-"

"We can do this you know"

"Huh? Do what?"

"Date"

"Dearka..." She said it in a sad tone "You're back with ZAFT. How would that even work. You would be gone all the time. Leaving me here in Orb all alone"

"You're not going to be in Orb." she looked at him strangely. She didn't know what he was talking about "You'll be in England, Colombia, Argentina, Panama... anywhere in the world your job takes you"

"What job"

"The one you'll get when you finial apply for a photojournalism job you've been dreaming of. I know you can do it. Besides I'm just in the part of ZAFT that deals with PLANT defense. With no war going on and a peace treaty weeks away from being signed I have plenty of chances for time off. Plus I can alway bug my commander for a bit of extra time as well. Which I will spend with you. You just name the place in the World and I'll meet you there."

"And if I don't see you for months at a time?"

"It will just make us stronger. Besides I promise I will write you every chance I get. I'm just an email away… always"

The room filled with silence. Miriallia thought about her options. What did she really want. She looked at Dearka and suddenly she knew the answer. She pushed him over onto his back and laid her head on his chest. "So how much time do I have with my boyfriend this time?" She asked sweetly.

He smiled bigger than he ever thought possible. "My shuttle leaves tomorrow"

"Then we better get out of bed" With that she grabbed his hand and started to pull him out of bed. She didn't want to waste a single minute.


	6. Chapter V: A Relationship

Dearka and Miriallia spent their first day as boyfriend and girlfriend shopping and walking around Orb. She showed him around to all her favorite spots. He loved how happy she looked as they explored the city together. The whole day was bittersweet. They knew soon they would be parting ways. Thier relationship would be fueled by a flood of emails and the promise to see each other soon. Mir had to trust that he would keep his promise and visit her every chance he got.

The next day Dearka left for the shuttle port by himself. She wanted more than anything to go with him. However they decided that maybe it would be best if for now they keep their relationship a secret.

"Promise you'll write me as soon as you get to the Voltaire"

"I promise" he replied hugging her tightly "And you promise me you'll apply for a photojournalism job. I know you have what it takes to follow your dream. You just need to try"

"I promise" They sealed their promise with a long deep kiss. They didn't want to let each other go. They had just reunited and finally figured out their feelings for one another. They weren't ready to say goodbye. Not yet. Not now.

The next several months of their relationship flew by in blur of emails and short visits. They couldn't believe how much their lives changed in 19 months.

* * *

 _ **Feb. 11, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _It's been three days since the ball. Finally I've found myself back on the Voltaire. But it seems different somehow. I'm lonelier and happier all at the sametime. Maybe it's because I miss you like crazy already. But I know you're worth the wait. It makes me so happy to know that you're mine._

 _I've already started buggy Yzak for time off. I promise we will see each other soon. So how goes the job hunt?_

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

 _ **Feb. 14, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Dearka,_

 _Today marks two years since the fall of Junius 7. I can't believe it's been that long already. You've been on my mind all day. I hope that all today's events go well. I'll be praying for all those who were lost._

 _No word back on any jobs. I'll keep you posted._

 _Kisses  
Miriallia Haww_

* * *

 _ **Feb. 19, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _We're you going to tell me? I can't believe you're 17 today! I almost missed your first birthday of our relationship. If you were trying to hide it from me sorry. With no war going on off duty time on the ship can get kind of boring. I may have hacked into some old Orb records on you. I promise I didn't look at anything too personal._

 _A gift should arrive in the mail soon. It's not much, just something to show I love you._

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

 _ **Feb. 28, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Dearka,_

 _I can't believe this is happening. A few days ago I had an interview for a freelance photojournalist job. Not just any, but the one I've been telling you about. I wore the necklace you got me hoping it would be good luck. Turns out it's the luckiest necklace in the world! They want me to start right away!_

 _I leave tomorrow for Panama to get the full details. I couldn't have done it without you. I guess I'll be travelling around the world for a while. I wonder where we will meet when I finally see you again?_

 _Kisses  
Miriallia Haww_

* * *

 _ **Mar. 10, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _Today I stood guard at the signing of the peace treaty. After two long years the war is finally officially over. Maybe this will mark the start of the end for hatred between our people. Someday maybe._

 _I think I saw you there among the journalist. I'm so proud you're following your dreams. It's just too bad we didn't get a chance to see each other for real. I've been dying to kiss you._

 _Can you believe after the treaty was signed the Chairwoman announced she would be stepping down. Needless to say we were all a little taken back by it. A New Chairperson should be announced in the next few days. I can only hope their views are similar to hers. We need a leader who values peace._

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

 _P.S._

 _It looks like I'll be getting my birthday wish. On my Birthday, March 30th, I'll be taking a week of leave. So where in the world will we be meeting?_

* * *

 _ **April. 12, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Dearka,_

 _That visit was so bittersweet. I've never been so desperate to keep someone in my arms. I only wished I could have taken time off work so I could have focused more on you._

 _Thank you for going with me to visit the island. I never thought I would have the courage to go back there. To walk on the island that Tolle took his last breath on. Somehow even the hardest things in life you make easier. The photos we took will surely help to illustrate the tragedies of war._

 _I can't wait to see you again._

 _Kisses  
Miriallia Haww_

* * *

 _ **May. 18, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _Today I flew a mobile suit for the first time since the war. I went out on a routine scouting mission. Normally as Lieutenant it's not my job. However with so many of our subordinates out on leave I volunteered to go. It felt so strange to maneuver around in one again. It's a feeling I don't want to get use to._

 _Maybe it felt so strange because I wasn't in the BUSTER anymore. Or maybe it was because I knew the last time I was in one I was fighting to protect you?_

 _I miss you. My leave is coming up again. Where to now?_

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

 _ **June. 21, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Dearka,_

 _I hope you don't regret it. I know I don't. We've been together nearly five months but it feels like so much longer. Waking up next to you has been the best feeling I've ever felt. I wish everyday I could wake up next to you. Instead I have to settle for everyday of a week, every few months. But that's what makes every moment with you so special._

 _I've never felt like this with anyone in my life. That's why I'm glad it was you I gave myself to fully. It's a moment I will cherish for the rest of my live. It's also another reason that I can't wait to see you again._

 _I think I'm ready to tell my friends and family about us. That is if you are ready for them to know._

 _Kisses  
Miriallia Haww_

* * *

 _ **July. 2, 72 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _I'm glad things went we'll telling your friends and family about us. Sadly I know if I tried I would never have the same results. Our worlds are just too different. You live in one filled with love and support and I live in one filled with rules and expectations._

 _In their eyes naturals and coordinators can never be together. Maybe someday we'll show them they're wrong, together._

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

For months they continued to email back and forth. Every few months just as promised he would take leave from ZAFT and come visit her. With no war going on he was able to visit her once every two month sometimes. Life seemed perfect.

Mir never felt so happy. She was working her dream job. Traveling the world, and even dating a man who made every moment feel filled with hope and love. Sometimes she couldn't believe how perfect her life was.

They felt so close to each other. So close that they even made love for the first time only five months into their relationship. It was her first time ever. And despite how terrible the first time is for most Dearka made every moment of it perfect.

It had been 19 months. They had been dating for almost two years. Life was perfect. They couldn't believe their long distance relationship was working. Never mind their Romeo and Juliet relationship.

"It's a beautiful night tonight isn't it" Mir said as she looked up at the stars spread across the sky. They twinkled like little lights.

"I don't think anything could make it anymore perfect." They were both laying in the grass outside of their tent. They were miles away from civilization. A short mile away from them was them remnants of a battlefield Mir was assigned to photograph. It seemed everytime he visited she was in the middle of an assignment. But he didn't mind. He loved to watch and help her work.

"It's two years today you know."

"Huh?"

"Since the cease fire during the war."

"It's hard to believe it's been that long." Dearka rolled over on his side and looked at her. He picked a small flower then handed it to Mir. She smiled at the sweet gesture. Sitting up she smelled the beautiful flower. "You know lately I've had this... Feeling. A feeling like something big and life changing is going to happen."

"A good... Or bad feeling?"

"Depends I guess" he said as he stood up and reached his hand down to help her up.

"On what exac-" before she could finish he pulled her into a deep passionate kiss.

"We should head to bed. We need to head toward a shuttle port tomorrow"

"Tomorrow I thought we had more time together"

"I've been here four days."

"Time goes to fast when you visit" her face filled with sadness. "I wish you could stay longer."

"I know but I have to get back to my duties. And you need to get to your next job in Athens." He smirked devilishly at her before sweeping her of her feet.

"Ahh" a small startled shriek slipped out her lips.

"But right now I think we might have some duties in our tent" he said seductively.

"Lead the way" she giggled before kissing him deeply.

* * *

 _ **Oct. 9, 73 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _Please tell me you weren't still there. I couldn't live with myself if my failure caused you to be injured or worst. I failed at stopping Junius 7 from falling and now I'm left wondering where in the world are you. Were you still in Athens? I pray if you were that you manage to find shelter._

 _Please answer as soon as you can. I need to know you're ok._

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

 _ **Oct. 11, 73 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _It's been two days since I messaged last. I'm worried. Please respond I need to know you're ok. Things are being thrown into chaos there was an attempted nuclear attack. Can it be another war has really started._

 _Please let me know you are ok. I'm scared. You're not even answering your phone._

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

 _ **Oct. 12, 73 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _I haven't been able to sleep or eat. It's been four days since Junius 7 fell. Still I haven't heard from you. Is this what it felt like? When you lost Tolle? If you even felt a fraction of the pain I do now then you truly are the strongest person I've ever met. It's like a vice is constantly crushing my heart._

 _I love you more than life itself. Please Mir if you're alive please respond_

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_

* * *

 _ **Oct. 13, 73 CE**_

 _Dear Dearka,_

 _I'm so sorry I didn't reply to you sooner. I can't image the pain you were in not knowing. When Junius 7 fell I was still in Athens. I managed to get to safety just in time. Unfortunately with the falling debris all modes of communication was cut off. I spent the past few days tending to the injured, helping bury the dead and documenting this horrible tragedy. Tomorrow I leave for the Atlantic Federation to document the damage there as well._

 _Don't for one minute think you failed. It wasn't your fault. I watched a live feed of what was happening. You and your team were almost killed fighting to stop it from falling. Logos is twisting the truth. And now a war has began. I'm afraid of what may happen next._

 _It's only been two short weeks since I saw you last. Now I fear it may not be until the war ends that I will see you next. Why did this have to happen. Just when I thought we were free to love one another the tension between Naturals and Coordinators is at an all time high once again._

 _I miss you but most importantly I love you and I need you more than air._

 _Kisses  
Miriallia Haww_

* * *

 _ **Oct. 13, 73 CE**_

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that I know that you are alive and well. Where in the world are you now? I've asked for more time off before I go back into full active duty. I need to see you at least one more time. Who knows what tragedies this war will bring. I need to hold you in my arms and kiss you once again. I pray it wouldn't be the last time._

 _In one week's time I will be leaving to see you. Please send me the coordinates of where to met you._

 _I can't wait._

 _With all my Love  
Dearka Elsman_


	7. Chapter VI: A Caller

Miriallia stood up from the snow she had been lying in. It was cold here in the north of the Atlantic Federation. However it was her job to document the areas affected by the fall of Junius 7. The damage was horrific. The sights she saw weighed heavy on her heart. So much death... So much destruction. And for what? The fall of Junius 7 was due to some radicals not willing to let go of the war. Unwilling to accept peace between naturals and coordinators. Now a war was beginning. The fighting was starting all over again. The radicals got what they wanted.

Was it really that easy for a war to start? Dearka and the rest of his team tried so hard to stop the colony from falling. But sometimes even heroes fail. So here she was documenting the failure. Not that it was his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault but those who caused it to fall in the first place.

She made her way through the town that was missed by the falling debris. It was strange how peaceful it seemed here considering not even a half an hours walk away there was great tragedy that took place. War would soon engulf the world but for now she would enjoy what peace was left.

As she entered her hotel one of her cells began to ring. She grabbed it and looked at it strangely. Why was it this one ringing? It was the cell Dearka had given her in case of an emergency. In case he was badly injured... Or worst killed. He and Yzak were the only ones who had the number to it. But the number on the screen displayed 'Unknown Caller'.

This wasn't the first time this number had come up. Several times over the past couple weeks it had rang and displayed the same thing. Every time she would answer there would be an eerie silence. She would repeat hello over and over again but no one would answer.

She had emailed Dearka about it once. She asked if he had ever given the number to anyone else. He replied back saying no. He also tried to reassure her it was just a wrong number and not to think too much about it.

Of course she tried to forget it. Her work help with that. But how can you forget about something that is practically screaming at you to answer it. It rang 3-4-5 times. Finally fed up she answered as she continued towards her door.

"Hello"

"..."

"Listen I don't know who this is or why you keep calling... But you clearly must have the wrong number"

"..." She could hear the light cracking of a fire in the background. It was really starting to give her the creeps.

"Listen bub enough is enough! Just who the heck are you!" She practically screamed into the phone.

"..." Suddenly she heard a dial tone. Whoever it was they decided to hang up. She placed the phone back in her pocket. Miriallia suddenly felt so scared and alone. She wished Dearka would be there tonight. But it was still one more day before he would be arriving. His last visit before he would be entering full active duty.

Miriallia slid her key card down the slot and opened the door. She was tried and could barely keep her eyes open. It was so dark in the room as she set her camera bag down and began taking off her winter jacket. Facing the door she hung up her jacket and reached for the light switch.

As her arm raised up to click the switch she heard something. The gentle crackle of a fire. She felt a lump in her throat. She never made a fire before she had left. Before she started up towards the room the hotel manager apologize for not attending to her room today. So why? Why could she hear the crackle?

*Ring Ring* *Ring Ring*

She nearly jumped out of her skin. It was that same damn caller. Slowly she put the phone to her ear. She was terrified.

"Hello?"

"..." Silence again with the faint noise of a fire cracking. The line went dead. She felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. It was then she realized the call may have been coming from inside the room.

She flicked on the light and picked up her camera bag. She put the strap over her shoulder making sure to hold it close. She knew if someone was there she may need something from the bag.

Slowly she walked towards the fireplace. She scanned the room visually as she walked. As she entered the sitting room she turned her head. Her face turned white as a ghost.

She had entered the room just in time to see a man stand by the fireplace. He opened a flask a poured some liquid into two glasses sitting on the mantle. Screwing the cover back on the bottle he tucked it into his inner jacket pocket. He turned to look at her.

There was something familiar about the man she couldn't quite put her finger on. He had longer wavy dark hair. He looked to be about in his mid to late 40s. He had cruel looking face with pale skin. And his eyes... they were a beautiful lavender that seemed to pierce right through her. On his suit jacket she could see a pin of the PLANTs. This man was a coordinator.

Fear started to overtake her as she reached in her bag. She placed her hand around a metal object inside. It was the gun Dearka had given her in case of emergencies. She was scared but ready and willing to protect herself.

The man calmly took a drink from one of the glasses. "I wouldn't pull that gun out if I were you." Mir looked at him shocked as he casually leaned against the wall. A smirk crossed his lips, a familiar smirk. "I could have you killed before it was ever out of the bag"

Mir just stared at him; she had never been so scared in her life. Even being on the ARCHANGEL never scared her this much. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. She didn't want the man to see just how terrified she was. Gathering her courage she finally asked "Who are you? And how did you get that phone number?"

"That's not important. What you should be asking is why am I here?" Another smirk crossed his face. Was he actually enjoying this? Did seeing her squirm bring him some kind of pleasure?

She took her bag off her shoulder and placed it gently on the floor. Dearka would never approve of her removing her only mode of protection out of her reach, but she knew it wouldn't be of any use to her. She looked at him closely. She tried to remember all the places in the world she had been. Did she meet him before? Why did he give her this feeling that she should know him?

"You look stressed. Why not have a drink?" He took the other glass and slid it across the glass coffee table. Mir just looked down at it before returning her eyes to the mysterious man.

"Why is it that you're here?" She asked trying to sound and look as confident as possible.

"It's simple" he answered as he pushed himself off the wall. "I want you to end your relationship" He took another calm sip of his drink before sitting it on the mantel.

"What?" She was confused.

"End your Relationship Dearka Elsman" he said slowly. His face then filled with hate "It's an abomination that ends now. You will end this and allow him to get his life back on the track it was always meant to be on"

"..." She felt her heart racing. Who was this guy. How did he know about her and Dearka's relationship. The only ones who knew about it were her family, friends, Yzak and his girlfriend Shiho. She looked at the man and replied with disdain in her voice "What makes you even think I even know this Dearka let alone dating him?" Maybe this man only heard rumours. Maybe she could trick him into thinking she didn't know him or they were just friends… maybe.

He looked at her with a very angry expression. He grabbed a folder off the mantle and chucked it on the coffee table. It slid part way across getting slowed down by the condensation left from the glass earlier. Some pictures peaked out. "As you can see lying to me will not help you" She was shocked she bent down and open the folder to look at them. Inside were several pictures of her with Dearka. Many were in compromising positions. Picture taken of them when they believed they we alone. Them talking, hugging, kiss and more. There had to be a few pictures from each of the times he had visited her.

"..." She held one of the pictures in her hand. See looked at Dearka's happy face. They were just talking and by the looks of it they were having the best time of their lives. "You've been following us?" she finally managed to say.

"No not me personally. I'm far too busy to trifle with such trivial things like following some natural my son has shacked up with"

"Son?" Mir thought. Her eyes opened wide hearing this, her heart was racing. The familiarity that she sensed. His wavy locks, his eyes, the way he smirks, the casualness in a tense situation. Suddenly it all made sense, this was Tad Elsman. Councilor of PLANTs, and Dearka's overbearing strict father. "Why interfere with us now? From what I understand he has disgraced your family and you wanted nothing more to do with him"

"That was then. Back when his association with the ARCHANGEL striped him of his red elilte status. I managed to at least have him promoted to lieutenant under the command of his friend. I never thought he could redeem himself, yet somehow he has. Now that the war is beginning he is showing true promise. He is ready to be welcomed back into our society. There is just one thing that needs to be taken care of before that happens… you"

"You can't make us end this. I love him and I will never leave him." she looked him in the eyes before picking up the glass. "In your world life may be driven by business deals, but mine is driven by love. And that is the world he choses. And will always chose" She started to bring the glass towards her mouth before it shattered in her hand. "Ahh!" she screamed in pain. A gun had fired from a distance hitting the glass. "Someone's watching us" She thought. Looking down at her hand she saw it was bleeding. The glass had cut her and blood was now dripping on the photos of her of her and Dearka.

She looked up at Tad as he casually sat down on the chair next to the fireplace. "Life is full of accidents Miss Haww. And life during a great war is full of… tragedies. Maybe it will be a car accident. Or you'll be caught in the crossfire of a battle between naturals and coordinators. An incurable illness that quickly deteriorates your body. It doesn't matter. I came here to give you a choice. It doesn't matter which you choice. Either way Dearka is freed from your hold. The only question is if at then end of it…. do you still live"

"So you're going to kill me. Why would you do this. We're in love, I would rather die than ever leave him."

"You lost someone you loved before correct? Of course you didn't love him the way Dearka does you. Do you remember that pain? The grief? Never understand why you lost them. The helpless feeling? Do you really want to subject him to that pain or would you rather let him down easy. Like I said Miss Haww, either way he is rid of you. But I'm a man of reason. I'll at least let you chose to end it"

"And when this is all done… when I'm gone… dead or alive what happens to him then" her voice quivered with sadness. Tears were at the corners of her eyes threatening to fall.

"He will pick up where he left off before he ever joined the military. He will marry Ariana Gould. Our families will unite. And you will just be one of his many past indiscretions."

"So this is what all of this is about. You want to him to go through with an arranged marriage he has been fighting against for years!"

"It is the way of our people!"

Mir stood up full of rage "Your people a wrong! I love Dearka, I've never loved anyone like I have him."

Tad stood up looking he in the eyes never losing contact. "You're 18 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. Even as a natural you have the ability to accomplish great things. Why let it end all here? For something as silly as love. You are a natural, and he is a coordinator. How long did you really believe it would last. I'm doing you a favor. Imagine what Blue Cosmos who do if they learned of your relationship. You would both be gunned down"

Mir felt so much pain in her heart. More pain than her hand was in. More pain than she ever felt in her life. She leaned down and gathered all the photos. Looking longingly at the images of Dearka. She stood up. Although Tad was giving her a choice there was no real choice to be made. She couldn't rip his heart out by breaking up with him. But dieing… even if it was for their love he would never understand. She would never be able to tell him she died for fighting for what they had. Instead she had make the impossible possible and leave him.

She stood up with the folder tightly against her body. She looked him in the eyes the same lavender eyes. "Just tell me one thing… will she make him happy"

"She will make a perfect wife" She knew what this meant. She would be the kind of wife just as Dearka's mother is. A robot who will follow whatever choice Dearka would ever chose to make. A life Dearka would never be happy in. But what choice did she really have? She walked over to the fireplace and watched the flames dance.

She took one last look at the folder. It was starting to get covered in blood from her still bleeding hand. "It's best Dearka never sees these" she said emotionless before chucking them into the fireplace. "You'll have what you want. Tomorrow night when Dearka arrives… I'll end things. NOW LEAVE!" her anger and pain echoed through the room.

"..." a small smile crossed his lips before he started towards the door.

"Wait" Tad turned to look at her "Y-You think that naturals and coordinators are so different but…" She turned to look him in the eyes. Tears were free falling from her eyes. Streaming down her face in waves. "Natural or coordinator… a prick is a prick." She turned back to the fire. She listened as his footsteps left the room. And when she heard the door shut she fell to her knees and cried harder then she thought possible.

She felt something sting. She looked down at her hand. She was injured and needed to treat it. She walked into the bathroom to clean it up. She felt so emotionally drained. Finally after finishing tending to her wound she headed to her laptop. She opened it to see and email from Dearka.

* * *

 **Oct. 20, 73 CE**

 _Dear Miriallia,_

 _So tomorrow. Tomorrow I get to look upon your face again. I've missed you like I've never missed you before. I can't wait to hold you in my arms. And who knows maybe even in a war something amazing and unexpected can still happen._

 _Send me the coordinates of where to meet you. Maybe somewhere private. How about somewhere under the stars?_

 _With all my Love_  
 _Dearka Elsman_

* * *

She was heart broken as she read his words. He loved her and she loved him. But after tomorrow it would be all over. As he looked forward to the next time they would see each other she wish the time would never come. She wanted more than anything for this night to last forever no matter the pain she was in. It was nothing compared to the pain that awaited both of them.

* * *

 **Oct. 20, 73 CE**

 _Dear Dearka,_

 _I miss you too. I've attached the coordinates of where we should me. It's private and should be a great place for us to meet._

 _Kisses_  
 _Miriallia Haww_

* * *

It was a cold impersonal email. Right now however, it was all she could manage. She wanted to tell him about his father. About how he had threatened her. But what would that help. It was going to be over between them and she needed to come to terms with that.

Mir didn't get out of bed the next morning. She just laid there motionless. Tonight Dearka arrive in the woods outside of town. She would met him and it would all be over. She tired her hardest to rehearse a break up in her head. But it was no use. She loved him with every fiber of her being. She wanted to spend to rest of her life with him, but now some other woman would get to. She looked over at the clock. It was time to go. Time to met Dearka and end the relationship.

She sat alone in the woods on a large rock. She wore her winter jacket to keep herself warm. Not wanting any questions about her hand she put on some mittens. It was getting dark. She could see the moon and the stars in the sky. There plain as day she could see the PLANTs as well. She felt numb.

"It's a beautiful spot" She turned her head towards the voice "But not as beautiful as the woman who chose it"

"Dearka" she said sounding sad. Quickly he ran up to her lifting her off the rock into a big hug as he spun her around. Setting her down so her feet touched the ground he kissed her. But something seemed… off.

"Miriallia? Is everything ok?" He asked as she pushed herself of him and walked a few steps away. She looked up to the sky again. Hoping to find the words.

"What are we doing. Sneaking around like this. No one will ever accept us as we are. A natural and a coordinator who fell in love."

"Mir?" he said concerned.

"This war it's ripping everything apart. Even Orb has taken the side of the Earth Alliance. Chaos is everywhere. Our people are fighting and will alway fight. So why keep fighting for something that just isn't there anymore?"

"What do you mean isn't there anym-"

"I don't love you" Saying those words caused tears to fall down her face like waterfalls. She kept facing away from him hoping he would try to look at her face. She didn't need him to make this any harder than it already was. "I've felt this way for a long time now. But I just couldn't find the words til now"

"You're… You're lying. Don't let this war come between us. The last war brought us together. I would have never met and fell in love with you if it wasn't for the first one. Who cares what everyone thinks of this! It is our lives! Our decisions"

"If it's our decision then listen to me. It's over."

"Please… Mir" She could hear his voice cracking. It was almost like hearing his heart break. "Don't do this"

"I'm sorry Dearka" she looked down around her neck. Her necklace sparkled in the reflection of the moon. She removed it and dropped it in the snow beside her. she took a few steps towards the woods before stopping. "It's over. Please don't try to follow me" with that she ran off into the woods. She ran for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes.

She tripped over a rock and began crying hysterically. Finally though her sobs she noticed the phone Dearka had given her had flown out of her pocket. She picked it up and pressed a button to call someone.

"It's done. Your son is free" She said emotionless.

"...If you ever see Dearka again or try to speak with him, I'll kill you." his father said before the line went dead. She pulled the phone away from her face. She looked at it tears streaming down her face before a bullet shot through the screen destroying it. It was over. It was all over.


	8. Chapter VII: A Prisoner

She had a hard time remembering the past few weeks. She remembers seeing Athrun. Him telling her in passing that he had seen Dearka. She made no reaction to hearing his name. She had become numb to it. She remembers helping Athrun get into contact with the ARCHANGEL. Later she went with Kira back to the legged ship. She remembers Murdock asking how Dearka was and she happily replied she dumped him. Luckily for her no questions were asked.

She didn't know how much time had passed since she arrived back on the ship. She just seemed to always find herself wandering around. Everytime she met another crew member she would greet them with a sunny happy smile and sault. She never let them know just how dead inside she felt. She was getting good at hiding all the pain that overwhelmed her. The smile was like a mask that protected her.

She continued to wander around the ship. Remembering the many times her and Tolle had explored almost every area. The happiness they both felt. Then her mind started to go towards Dearka. The fights they had. The times they talked and got to know each other. She continued to walk until she got to the bathrooms. A nice hot shower. Maybe that is what she needs right now.

She got naked and made her way into the shower. She turned on the water to a high heat. She stepped under it and she held her hands up watching them fill with water. She looked through the clear liquid to the fading scar on her hand. She dropped the water not wanting the memories of it all to come back.

She felt the water rushing over it. The heat that almost burned her skin. She felt in streaming down her thin gorgeous body. She look down and creased her stomach. Placing her hands around it like it was holding something precious. A sad look invaded her face. "Dearka" she thought sadly.

* * *

 _"You never answered my question" Dearka yelled. He was holding a rope looking high up a mountain side where his girlfriend was climbing up. She wanted to get a better shot of the area she was documenting._

 _"I'm only 17 you know" She yelled back down._

 _"I'm not saying right now. I mean ever"_

 _Mir perched herself on an edge of the cliff high above the trees and the man questioning her below. She took a deep breath before taking a few pictures. Satisfied with the shots she put the camera back in the bag and looked down at her boyfriend. "Do you mean in general or with you?"_

 _"Is there really a difference? You're not planning on leaving me are you Haww?"_

 _With that Mir began to scale down the great cliff. Finally when her feet touched the ground she replied "Never in a million years would I leave you. I love you" She she chuckled as she kissed him passionately. When she finally pulled herself away from his lips she continued. "But children, that's a different story. We can't have a family together until it is ok for us to be together"_

 _"Someday Miriallia Haww I will convince you that we belong together. Not just as my girlfriend either. Someday I'll make you my wife infront of everyone who matters. Then I'll make you the mother of my children." he said as he put his hand gently on her cheek._

 _"It's not me you need to convince"_

 _"I won't let anyone stand in my way of being with you." He smiled big. "Now how about we go get some lunch"_

* * *

It had almost been a year since they talked about kids. Even then when their relationship was new Dearka knew where he wanted to take it. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to have kids with her. But now he was going to do all that with some other woman. Some woman his father picked out for him. A woman she threw him into the arms of.

She had thought the shower would help but all it did was sadden her. Flood her mind with thoughts she wished she would never think of again. After getting dressed she continued to wander about the ship until she came to a door. She was standing in front of the door to the brig. The place where it all started. Where she started to feel something a twinge of a feeling for Dearka. Maybe the spark that started the fireworks that was their relationship.

She opened the door and walked down the hallway until she came to his cell. The cell of the ZAFT prisoner. He had spent so long in there waiting to be released or handed over to Earth Alliance officials. Only to be eventually released in Orb and to come back to protect them. What if he never came back. If he had gone back to ZAFT. Then would she still feel this hole in her chest?

She unlocked the cell and walked over to the bed and sat down. It was so uncomfortable. It was worst then all those times she slept outdoors. How horrible it must have been for him. How scared was he being trapped in here alone for days on end. Not knowing when or if he would get out alive. The only time he saw anyone was when his meal was brought to him. As small glimpse of someone, of hope.

* * *

 _"Dinner time" She said emotionless. Lately she seem to always be the one bringing his meal to him. She looked over at him motionless on the bed. "Are you feeling ok?"_

 _"If you're worried I'm sick don't be. I'm a coordinator remember" he snarled. Before sitting up. "So has it been decided yet? Or are people just going to let me rot and die in here."_

 _"I'm sorry but like I said before they aren't even letting us off either"_

 _"So that's it? I'm a ZAFT soldier! According to Orb law I'm not permitted within their waters. So did you people lie about me being on board or something"_

 _"After what happen in JOSH-A it's not like they could really deny us"_

 _"Huh?" He looked at her shocked "Wh-what do you mean what happened in JOSH-A"_

 _She looked at him. She could see the concern on his face. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything. But you should know that there was a great battle and because of it the ship status is unknown."_

 _"What do you mean unknown."_

 _"Look I shouldn't have even told you that much." She looked away and said sadly "You might be here a bit longer so eat and get comfortable. If I hear of any news of what is to happen with you I'll come let you know" She started to walked away when and hand grabbed hers. For a second their fingers interlaced. She felt a strange sensation in her chest, almost like her heart had skipped a beat._

 _"As soon as you hear anything" he said in a raspy voice "You promise you will let me know Mir-"_

 _She whipped her hand out of his "I asked you not to say my name. If you must call me something call me Haww"_

 _"How?"_

 _"Haww as in H-A-W-W it's my last name"_

 _He took a step back before sitting on the floor "Then Haww I look forward to when we see each other again. But if it's for my execution please stop putting it off and just do it already. I'm tired of waiting." Mir turned and walked away, lost in her thought about his hand on hers._

* * *

The next time she visited his cell she was releasing him. She never imagined she would ever see him again after that let alone date him. Or fall madly in love with him. She felt so drained. Looking at the pillow she decided to lay down. It was so uncomfortable. She grabbed the pillow to fluff it. Suddenly she heard something metal hit the ground. She looked over and was shocked.

It was a knife. Not just any knife but the one she had attacked him with. Somehow with chaos of her and Fllay attacking him he managed to get the knife and hide it from the other soldiers. He even managed to get it to his cell. That whole time every time she saw him, every meal she bought, he could have attacked her. He could have tried to escape. Held a knife to her throat and convince the others to let him go. But instead he waited for possible execution. Why?

She held the knife in her hands. She was so lost in thought she didn't hear the footsteps coming down the hall. Tear welled up in the corners of her eyes. Finally the mystery person arrived outside the doorway.

"I was wondering who would was down here" the booming cheery voice of Chief Murdoch echoed in the room as he entered "So what you up to Mi- Huh?" He suddenly noticed the knife in her hands.

"He could have escaped. He could have threatened to kill me. Used me to convince you to give him the BUSTER to escape. B-but he didn't" She cried. She began to cry uncontrollable. "He was a good guy. He was scared and alone. But he stayed. Why didn't he escape. Why didn't he kill me! I was so weak. He could… he could have" She managed to choke out.

"He loved you. Even back then even though neither of you knew it. You had a connection the moment you saved his life"

"He took the knife after that" she snapped back

"A soldier is trained to do whatever it takes to make it out alive. It was his best chance taking that."

Mir took the knife holding the handle with both her hands aiming towards her heart. Murdock looked at her with concern. It was the first time she let anyone see her pain. "I made the wrong choice. I should have stay with him. Took my last breath being his. Even if it was short I could have spent the rest of my life with him. I thought the best choice was leaving him to spare him the pain of someone he loved dieing." She looked up at Murdock deep into his concerned eyes "But… I was too busy thinking about him to bother to think about how I would feel without him in my life. I feel empty and dead inside, so why… why not… just end it here and now."

Murdoch put his hand on her and took the knife out of her hands before pulling her into his arms. She began to cry even harder. "I don't know what happened between you and Elsman but… you still have a life to live. Even if he is never a part of it again." He pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes "We need you to be strong Ensine Haww. You need to push forward. Someday the pain will fade and you will get your smile back again"

He stood up reaching his hand out to her. She accepted it and stood up. He wiped away her tears and put his arm around her shoulders to guide her out. She felt safe in his arm. Like a father who was protecting her. Maybe she would be okay. She just needed to push through and make it out of this war.


	9. Chapter VIII: A Ring

Dearka watched as Miriallia ran off into the woods. He wanted follow her but his feet wouldn't move. Finally he stumbled back and sat on the rock Mir had been sitting on. He was devastated. He felt like his heart had been ripped out. His stomach felt sick, like a million butterflies had dies inside him. He sat there in silence lost in his thoughts. What did he do wrong. Just two weeks ago they were together and madly in love. So why did she just break up with him.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. As he began to dial a phone number he noticed the small black box that fell out of his pocket. He placed the phone against his ear as it rang. Reaching down he picked up the small box.

 _"Hello?"_ The voice on the other line asked.

"Ahh… hello. Mr. Haww?"

 _"Oh Dearka!"_ He said excited _"So did you do it yet?"_ Mir's father asked eagerly. Dearka held the box in front of his face popping it open with his thumb. Inside was a beautiful white gold diamond ring. It sparkled in the moonlight. " _You shouldn't put it off for too long you know, that's just going to make you more nervous"_

"Sir that's actually what I'm calling you about"

 _"Is something wrong? Is Miriallia okay?"_

"She's fine sir. I just… You haven't told anyone about this about me wanting to propose have you?" He said as he closed the box and put it back in his pocket.

 _"Just like you asked it's been just between you and me. It's been difficult keeping it from her mother but I want this family starting off on the right foot. That means keeping promises I make to my soon to be son-in-law"_

"Thank you sir. But I don't think that is going to be happening."

 _"What do you mean? You're not letting this war get between the two of you are you? She loves you. You make her happier than I've ever seen her. You can't just walk away from that."_

"I love your daughter. She is a strong and amazing young woman. I trust her with my life and all my happiness." His voice cracked at the last part. He cleared his throat and regained his composure. "But sometimes you need to know when to walk away. I think I'm starting to learn love can't always save you. Sometimes it's just causes you to be full of pain and suffering."

Mr. Haww didn't understand what he was talking about _"What happened Dearka"_

"I'm sorry" he replied "I-I don't know what to tell you because I honestly don't know myself. I think maybe you should talk to your daughter. I have to go book a shuttle."

 _"Dearka… I'm sorry. I hope that someday the two of you can work this out. Whatever it is that is coming between you it's not as strong as the love you two have. Don't give up hope. Someday you two will find your way back to each other"_ Little did they both know what was standing between them was Dearka's own father.

"Thank you sir" with that he hung up the phone. He looked up at the stars in the sky. It was a sight he had seen many times when he was with Mir. They use to lay on the ground and look up at the sky. They would talk about anything and everything. Looking up at the sky use to calm him now it just seemed empty. He walked over to the patch of snow where Mir and thrown her necklace away. He bent down and picked it up. Shoving it in his pocket he left for the nearest shuttle port.

Dearka walked off the shuttle and on to the soil of Febuarius. He still had three days of leave scheduled. He fought Yzak hard to be able to get those days. How could his friend really argue after see what a mess Dearka had been. When Mir couldn't contact him to let him know she was ok, he became a complete wreck. He would just feel like an idiot if he returned now. Yzak would question him about being back early, questions he wasn't ready to answer.

It was late as he walked around the familiar streets of his childhood homeland. He didn't know where to go or why he came here of all places. Finally he saw a bar and walked in. He ordered a drink and sat there for a while in silence. He was still shocked about what had happened. He thought everything was going great between them. After all he was planning on proposing that night.

It was getting late and he had already downed a few drinks. But he wasn't ready to leave yet "Another scotch on rocks" He said calling out to the bartender.

"Make that two" Said a voice behind Dearka. The man sat down next to him as the bartender handed both men their drinks. "I thought you hated scotch. Didn't you always say it was only for serious cold hearted men"

"Maybe I was wrong or maybe I was just trying to piss you off"

"You're not one to drink alone in bars. I do hope I did teach you better than to drink your feelings away."

"If memory serves you never thought me to feel anything father"

"What are you doing here. I heard you were on leave. Never once have you bothered to come home in almost two years. Here I thought you must have had a girlfriend or something" Tad said hoping to confirm what Miriallia said about their relationship being over.

"Had being the important word" Dearka replied "It ended and I'm working on getting over it if you don't mind"

"Was it serious or just another fling?" He prid. He didn't really know much of the actual relationship only what he could infer from the various pictures he saw. He knew she was a natural and he knew they had a sexual relationship. But further than that he knew nothing.

Dearka pulled the box out of his pocket. He looked at it a moment before setting it in front of his father. "Serious enough that I wanted her to be my wife" His father was shocked. He never realized Dearka was that foolish to not only fall that in love with a natural but to marry her "Not that it matters now. It's over she ended it and I have to accept that. After all I can't keep drink my feelings away in a bar. I am a soldier and a war is beginning. I can't let my feelings get in the way of things"

His father picked up and opened the box, he looked at the ring before closing it. He placed it over in front of his son "So you just need to get back out there. Don't let some silly girl get in the way of you living your life."

"There is no life without her. None worth living. If I can't be with her then… then I don't want to find anyone else. I will never love anyone the way I loved her. Love is like a black hole that sucks you in. And if you lose it there is no going back"

"And what if you could continue your life and get married and have a family without love being a factor. You wouldn't get hurt again"

"What do you mean?" He questioned raising one eyebrow.

"I've been watching you lately and your performance on the Voltaire. You've made myself and the other council member very proud. I think it is time we discuss you completing your birthright. Ariana Gould is a nice girl that will make a lovely wife"

"Father I don't want to discuss this." Dearka said angrily before taking a deep breath. They we silent for a few minutes before her replied "I'll do it"

A smirk crossed his father's lips for a moment. Everything was going so perfectly. "Are you sure?" he asked as he watched his son get up from the table and throw money down to cover his drinks.

"Don't pretend to try to talk me out of this. I know this is what you want" he said before starting to walk away.

"Dearka the ring" his father asked seeing it still on the counter.

"Keep it, toss it, I don't really care. I don't need it anymore" with that he walked away to find a hotel to stay for the next few nights. He was hoping to sleep of the feelings of Miriallia like his love for her was some kind of sickness.

A few days passed and he found himself once again on the Voltaire. The other soldiers greeted him with a salute as he passed. He half heartedly saluted back. He floated down the hall until he came to his door. He punched in his access code and opened the door. Walking in he stared at the wall above his bed. It was covered in picture of him and Mir. She was so happy in all over them.

Other pictures that covered the empty spaces on the wall were pictures she had taken on her many freelance jobs. She was an amazing photographer and he had become a big fan of her work. Other soldiers on his ship had seen copies in his locker and became fans as well. They we always impressed with how good the photography was since the photographer was a natural.

He walked up to one of the pictures of her. He pulled it off the wall and looked at it. He stared at her eyes before his became angry. He reached his hands up and began angrily and frantically ripping them all off the wall. One after the other as the floated around him. He finally grabbed the last one holding it in his hands he tried to rip it in half but he could bring himself to do it.

He dropped it and began punching the wall with his right hand as he yelled "DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! MIR WHY!" He turned and grabbed the lamp next to his bed and threw it attempting to smash it against the wall. Instead it just gently floated like everything else and bounced off the wall. He fell to his knees. Finally all the pain and the heartache was overtaking him. He put his hands both on the ground in tight fists as he began to cry.

Tears floated everywhere by his face as he tried to get a hold of his feelings. Suddenly his door flew open to reveal his commander and friend Yzak. He heard the commotion from the hallway. Seeing his friend and the state of his room he quickly shut the door. "Dearka!" he ran over to him and knelt down. He could see his friends knuckles were bleeding badly. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look like I'm okay?" He snapped "How… how could she do this to me after everything I did to protect her. After everything I gave up. All for her" he cried out in pain and frustration.

* * *

 _He felt the pain of the fresh cut on his head. That girl. How was he suppose to know what had happened. It was a war, people died and you just needed to move on and accept it. He knew he was right about her. She had no business being a soldier if death caused her to fall apart. But he seemed to find some kind of relief in knowing he wasn't the one to kill her boyfriend._

 _He felt himself starting to drift off to sleep until he heard something. Footsteps? Was that girl coming back? He closed his eyes holding his hand tightly on the knife he hid under his pillow. He felt eyes staring down at him._

 _"Wh-what say to her. To Mir? For her to attack you like that?" It was a voice he never heard before. It wasn't the same voice as the guy who pulled the girl off him. He sat up and put the knife behind his back. Maybe his chance was coming sooner than he thought. This natural looked weak enough, a real coward. He could easily use him as a means for escape._

 _"Why not ask her?" he replied coldly_

 _"I can't… I can't do that to her." he yelled back "She is hurting. She never could do something like this. So what did you say to her to make her attck you"_

 _"Listen I could answer you but what exactly will knowing do for you? Do you really think she wants you to know"_

 _"She's my friend" For some odd reason hearing he was that girl's friend cause him to put the knife back in it's spot under his pillow. He stood up and headed towards to bars. The boy backed up at Dearka advances until his back hit the wall behind him._

 _"Then respect her enough to drop this." he looked at the boy cowering in front of him. It didn't seem to matter that Dearka was locked up. "What's your name anyways?"_

 _The boy looked scared at the question "uhh… Kuzzey, Kuzzey Buskirk"_

 _"Do yourself a favor Kuzzey. If you ever get a chance to get out of the military, to leave the ship take it. Take 'Mir' with you too." He said as he head back to his bed laying back down._

 _"And if she refuses to go and she wants to stay?"_

 _He looked at the boy confused. Why would this girl chose to stay after all she had been through. He closed his eyes for a moment and then looked up towards the ceiling "Then pray someone decides to protect her"_

* * *

When he said that he never imagined that he would be the person to vow to protect her. It was in that moment talking to her friend that he decided he would never use that knife. Not if it meant hurting her again. He gave up his freedom for a chance of her finding happiness again.

His friend looked at him with sadness in his eyes "Come on let me look at your hand" he said as Dearka shifted so he sitting on the floor. Yzak walked in the bathroom and gathered some bandages and ointment. He sat back down and started to treat his friend's hand "Judging by your reaction I'd say it's over"

"Yes" He replied looking away from his friend.

"So what now? You going to return the ring" He asked concerned "I can send someone to do it for you if it's too difficult."

"There's no need. I already got rid of it."

"Where?" he asked curiously.

"I gave it to my father" He said softly almost under his breath.

"Are you crazy!" He yelled accidentally pressing on Dearka's wounded hand. He winced in pain "You told your father about your natural?"

"No not exactly. I told him that there was a girl. I told him I wanted to marry her but she dumped me before I ever asked"

"And that's it"

"No… not exactly." He looked his friend straight in the eyes. A serious look crossed the blond's face as he said the next part "I'm marrying Ari. When the war ends a date will be set"

"Dearka..."

"It's over Yzak. My father wins okay. There is no point in fighting it anymore. I ran away from this for so long because I wanted a chance for real love. Now that I've had it I know it is a once in a lifetime thing and I blew my shot. So Instead of hurting myself by thinking about this too long I'm just going to move on"

"And if the natural changes her mind. If she wants you back?"

"Mir will never want me back. She isn't the type to make a decision lightly. She thinks everything through sometimes too much. The moment she told me it was over there was no changing her mind."

"But Ari"

"She will make a good wife"

"Is that really what you want?"

"Like I said Yzak it's over. Whether it's what I want or not it's happening. I've already went over the details with her father." He looked at his friend for a moment then asked "What are you doing down this way anyways?"

"I came to tell you the Chairman has called us back to the PLANTs"

"The ship? Why?"

"Not the ship you and I. He needs us to escort someone. I don't have the full details. We'll be filled in when we arrive."

Dearka took a deep breathe. "Here's hoping it's not bad news"

Yzak nodded as he helped his friend off the floor and began cleaning up the room. It saddened him to see his friend in pain. He hated him dating a natural but he hated the idea of him marrying Ariana more. "Dearka… here's hoping you are wrong about your girl" he thought to himself.


	10. Chapter IX: A Realization

Mir sat her camera down in the tall grass. She laid down and looked up at the night sky. Up at the stars, the moon and the PLANTs. She frowned. It all looked different now. A great battle had changed the landscape of the sky forever.

The war was finally over once again. It seem to end almost as fast as it started. But that didn't stop a large amount of lives from being lost. An estimated 900,000 coordinator lives were lost when the Requiem was fired destroying Januarius 1 to 4 and December 7 and 8. The last few weeks of the war were filled with drama and great loss. But for Miriallia the hardest part was knowing _he_ was out there.

She was the one to identify Dearka Elsman as the Zaku Phantom's pilot. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to deflect again? But the entire crew of the Voltaire deflected, including the commander Yzak Joule, so it came as no surprise he would to. It wasn't long after that she found out they had all been a part of Terminal. The secret group that supplied information to the former Three Ships Alliance. A part of her life she kept secret from Dearka. Which turns out he had kept secret from her too.

She wanted to call out to him. Tell him she was there. Thank him for protecting her again. She wanted to see him again. Hold him in her arms and tell him that she loved him. But Tad's last words to her echoed in her head. If she contacted him, if she saw him, his father would kill her.

Miriallia rolled over in the grass her mind still spinning from the events in the Second Bloody Valentine War. The war had ended three weeks ago. It was now past midnight and officially January 1st, 74 CE. She was laying in the middle of no where, alone. She looked over and saw a flower. A sad look came across her face. It was the same type of flower Dearka had picked for her that time.

* * *

 _"You know lately I've had this... Feeling. A feeling like something big and life changing is going to happen."_

* * *

She began to wonder what Dearka meant when he said that. The way he smiled, it couldn't have been something bad. So good then? Was he planning something she wondered. It had been so long since she had allowed herself to think of him. She was torn up and broken. Love being ripped away was one of the most terrible feelings.

She held her left hand up to the sky and examined the scar on the palm. The scar that man gave her. Dearka's father, Tad Elsman. The scar crossed most of her hand pointing towards her ring finger. Her eyes opened wide with shock. Suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks. The something big, Dearka's wanting to meet somewhere private and under the stars.

Looking up at the night sky was something they always did together. Something that she did alone when she missed him uncontrollably. He once told her when she looked up and the stars she would know that he was looking down at Earth. That he was protecting her like he always had and always will. There was only one reason for him to insist on meeting in private under stars.

He thought she had died when Junius 7 fell. He was frantic for days. He needed to see her again before the war hit a climax. So why would he be so specific about what type of place he wanted to meet her in. It was as plain as day to her all of a sudden. He was going to propose.

She shoot up into a sitting position. Anger and sorrow filled her. HE took everything from her. Not only a boyfriend but her future with him. The future they could have had. They could have gotten married, had kids, grown old together. Instead the love of her life was with someone else. Set to be married at some undetermined date.

She sat there and realized she had nothing left to live for. She had pushed herself to be cheery. To try and move past the threats to her life. But she couldn't. She had lost a boyfriend once before. And although she didn't love him in the conventional sense she still loved him dearly. When she recovered from that she fell madly in love with Dearka. Then she was forced to chose between him and living.

More and more she started to realize it didn't matter which she chose. Leaving Dearka was eating her up inside. The guilt of knowing the pain she caused him. The anxiety of knowing she threw him back into the life he ran from for years. She took his freedom, his happiness, and the love they shared. She convinced him she no longer loved him and hadn't for a long time.

For what? She lied and hurt him to spare her own life? She could have been with him for the rest of her life. Even if it was only for one more day it would have been a better more fulfilled happy life then the one she was living now. Sometimes she still wondered if his father was watching her, waiting for her to slip up and find Dearka.

This pain, this hole it was all Tad's fault. She wanted him to feel something too. Not sorrow or pain. To try to hurt him that way would only hurt Dearka. No she had something different in mind for him.

He was a businessman, a supreme council member. He was proud of being a part of high society and all that came with it. He was a coordinator and a purest who hated naturals.

To hurt him would take much different tactics than what it took for him to hurt her. Threats to his life and forcing him away from someone he loved would never hurt him like it did her. He was a cold hearted man whose pride and position were the most important thing to him. The only way to hurt a man like that was public humiliation. Although she knew she could never hurt him as much as he hurt them, doing something felt better than doing nothing. And she knew just the place to do it.

She reached into her bag and pulled out and elegant invitation. It was to the Peace Treaty ball to be held in one week's time in the PLANTs. She picked up her cell and began to dial.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey Cagalli? Sorry to call so late"

 _"It's ok Mir, I couldn't sleep anyways."_

"Listen I'm calling about the peace treaty ball. I've decided I will be attending after all if it's still possible"

" _Yes of course you can still come!"_ She said excited " _You know though that we will be honoring all the members of Terminal right? You'll have to make another grand entrance"_ she said hoping this wouldn't freak her out.

A smile crossed her face "I look forward to it" she said with a strangely eager tone. Her plan depended on her making a grand entrance.

" _Mir?"_

"Yes Cagalli?"

" _You know… Dearka was a part of Terminal too. So he will be honored there as well. Which means… He will most likely be escorting his fiance"_

"I know Cagalli. It okay." she said in a sad tone. They both fell silent for a minute before Miriallia began to speak again. "Do you think you could arrange an appointment for me again at that same dress shop as before. I really enjoyed my experience there last time."

" _Yeah sure. Just no plunging neckline this time promise?"_ She joked.

"Promise"

It was a promise she intended to keep. She had something very different in mind for this ball. She wanted every man's eyes to be trapped on her. She wanted their gaze to always be following her like they were in a trance. But most of all she wanted Tad to look at her and to be personally humiliated by feeling attracted her. In some sick way she wanted him to want her. She wanted him to hate himself for feeling that way for her, for a natural.

After she would gain his attention she planned on humiliating him further. She hadn't quite planned it all out yet. Maybe it needed to be in the moment. All she knew was she needed to destroy everything that made that man who he is.


	11. Chapter X: A Bang

Miriallia arrived at the ball around the same time as many of the other guests. Just as before she walked in and was escorted to where she would wait to be announced. Knowing she wasn't the last to arrive she wandered off towards the balcony. When she made her official entrance she wanted to be the last on everyone's mind.

She watched as each member of Terminal was announced. They descended the stairs in elegant dresses and perfect tuxedos. She smiled slightly watching them. They were so happy it was almost contagious... Almost. She looked over towards the staircase. The next couple to be announced wiped away any trace of a smile.

"... ZAFT's First Lieutenant Dearka Elsman of the Voltaire. Escorting Lady Ariana Gould..."

She was surprised at how numb she was seeing him. She was so emotionless seeing them together. But then again they seemed emotionless too. They looked proper and perfect, like a high society couple should.

Miriallia couldn't help but look at Ari. She, by all definition, was beautiful. Her eyes were a soft hazelnut. Her hair was a dark emerald that went halfway down her back. Half of it was pulled back in a loose ponytail.

Her dress was exactly the type of dress a respectable girl would wear. It was a light cream that complemented her hair color. It covered any parts of her that would be deemed 'inappropriate' to show in public. The top was a halter, with the bottom flowing out and reaching the floor. She was perfection.

Her make up was elegant and simple. But Mir couldn't help but noticed how unhappy she was. Sure she was smiling a smile that fooled everyone... Everyone but her. She could tell it was fake because it was the same smile she plastered on her face since she left Dearka.

Ari was unhappy. It was then Miriallia realized looking at the two of them just how many lives Tad Elsman had ruined. This only gave her more drive and determination to ruin Tad's life in exchange.

Finally she saw the last of the members of Terminal make their way into the lineup. It was almost time. Time to humiliate Dearka's father and accept whatever punishment he had for her.

She watched the couple make their way through the crowd and to the man that started all the pain. It was here... Her moment. She stood at the top of the stairs. Her entire body covered by a long black cloak. A hood covered her head and face from everyone.

"...and finally announcing from Orb, Ensine Miriallia Haww, Communications Officer of the ARCHANGEL"

Mir watched from under her hood as all eyes turned towards her. She hasn't even revealed herself yet but the whispers were already starting. They obviously still remembered her from the previous ball.

She watched as Dearka stared up at her. She could see the pain he was feeling knowing she was there. She looked past him and smiled to herself at the rage that flared up in his father's face. He was angry that she even dared to show her face here where his son was.

She slowly pulled down her hood to show the crowd her face. Her hair was tied back into a small ponytail. Her make up was simple and understated. She wanted everyone to know exactly what she was. A natural who wasn't perfect but rather full of flaws.

She made eye contact with Tad. If looks could kill there would be a double murder. Neither one broke eye contact as her hand moved to the string holding her cloak around her body. With one swift pull the cloak came undone and feel to the floor. A loud gasp and a roar of gossip could be heard around the room. But Mir kept looking at the man who ruined everything.

He looked at her, his face full of disgust. Although he wouldn't admit it, she was gorgeous. Her dress was like a car accident. You knew you should look away but the drama of it drew you back in.

She wore a sheer gown that form fitted halfway down her thighs before flaring out. The material was so see through that it was almost like she was naked. Jewels were scattered across it gathering in her intimate places to make it a bit more 'respectable'. Every curve of her body, every bit of imperfection and perfection showed.

Through the dress just above her right hip bone was a tattoo. It read 'With all my love' in Dearka's handwriting. It matched his tattoo that read 'Kisses' in her handwriting. His however was on his ribcage just below his heart.

Mir began to slowly descend the stairs. Her eyes never leaving her target. She wanted to see him squirm. It didn't bother her that every pair of eyes in the building was on her... Not like last time. Last time she was a whole person, now she was just a fraction of who she use to be. And this part of her enjoyed every minute of the hate being felt for her.

She made her way through the crowd of pretentious people. Keeping one eye always on Tad. She walked over to where some of the ARCHANGEL's crew had gathered. She could tell they too couldn't help but stare at her very exposed body. Some of the older men from the crew kept reminding themselves she was still only 18 and that they've known her since she was 15 years old. But even that couldn't stop them from looking her up and down.

When she got next to the table she picked up two glasses of champagne. She quickly drank one leaving the other for a toast after the welcome speeches. She could tell the others looked at her strangely when she did this. She turned towards them with a half hearted smile and said. "One to calm the nerves" They all nodded not wanting to question further. They could tell that she wasn't the same. It was like her protective wall had been ripped down and she had nothing left to lose.

"And now please welcome Lacus Clyne, Chairwoman of PLANTs and Cagalli Yula Attha, Chief Representative of Orb " Everyone clapped politely to welcome the young leaders.

"I would like to thank you all for attending." Lacus started "Two years ago I stood down there like many of you. I was full of hope for the future…"

Mir listened to Lacus inspiring speech. It was heartwarming and filled with hope. After she finished Cagalli said a few words before they all had a moment of silence for those lost. A toast was called for next and they all took a drink from their glasses. The music begin and everyone started to dance. Mir looked up the staircase and watched as Lacus walked over to Kira to descend the stairs. Cagalli began to descend by herself.

She and Athrun were still apart. Another great love that emerged from the first war that was destroyed. It wasn't fair. She knew they both still loved each other. But neither one of them would ever admit that. They were both afraid that what they had done ruined anything they could every have. Miriallia knew it wasn't too late for them. One of them just needed to make the first move.

She looked across the vast crowd and spotted a new target. She didn't know how tonight would end. If Tad stayed true to his threats she could be dead before morning. She didn't want to go without ensuring happiness for good friends of her. It took a while but finally she spotted Athrun Zala with his young date Meyrin Hawk. She made her way over to the couple one the sideline of the dance floor.

"Hey there Meyrin and _Athrun_?" She said it as though it was a shock to see them together.

"Mir is so nice to see you" Meyrin practically squealed with excitement.

"Meyrin? Would you mind if Athrun and I speak… _alone?_ " she inquired while making a motion with her hand to shoo the girl away.

"Ahh… yeah sure Mir" She replied nervously. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but this wasn't the same natural she had met before. She was different, and a bit scary serious. When the young girl was out of earshot distance she turned her attention to the man standing next to her.

"Meyrin? Really?" She asked raising one eyebrow.

Athrun looked at her trying his hardest to look in her eyes and not the rest of her "It's not at all what you think. We're just here as friends that's all" he insisted.

"Does _she_ know that?"

"Of course. She dating someone. He's on guard duty tonight and neither of us wanted to go alone"

"You didn't have to go alone. You didn't need some random girl"

"wha-"

"Cagalli" They both looked over at her dancing with her brother. She looked beautiful but lonely.

"We're through, you know that"

"You don't have to be" He looked at her confused.

"There was just too many mistakes. There's no going back for us now"

"Why because you both chose to protect your countries?"

"That's not what happened"

"I might have left out the details but that's all it really was. You both still love each other, it not too late. When it's true love it's almost never too late."

"And what about you and Dearka?" She looked at him with a bit of anger crossing her face "You still love him so why not take him back? Like you said if it's true love it's never too late."

"I said almost. I don't expect you to understand." She blurted out disgustedly before regaining composer and continuing "Besides… he's engaged now." she went silent for a second before speaking again "Listen, be stubborn and unhappy if you want but the girl of your dreams is right there. If you ever truly meant it when you asked her to marry you then have the balls to take her back"

"Mir?" He was surprised at how direct she was.

"Lacus hi!" She said bright and cheery looking past the confused man to greet her lovely pink haired friend.

"Miriallia, Athrun I'm so glad you could make it." She looked her friend up and down and smiled "Mir you're beautiful… I didn't know you had a tattoo"

She looked down at her tattoo touching it with her hand for a second before looking back to her friend "A last memento from my relationship with Dearka. I haven't had the heart to get it removed" She replied sadly. Mir looked back through the crowd trying to spot her original target once again. There he was standing close by his son. It was now or never. It was time for Tad Elsman to feel his pride be ripped away from him. "Lacus I was hoping I could arrange to have a private dance with someone. Maybe you could sing for us?"

The former songstress followed where Mir's eyes were looking. Seeing Deraka she assumed it was him her friend was thinking of dancing with "Of course I could!" She said excitedly. "What song were you think"

"Quiet Night. I think it fits the mood of the situation." The chairwoman nodded as they both went their separate ways. Lacus headed towards the band and whispered to them that she would like to sing a special song for someone.

Meanwhile Miriallia went through the large amount of guests. They moved aside as she walked towards them. Dearka watched as the woman he loved approached. "Mir… " he thought. He didn't know if he had the strength to talk to her. Not right now… not with his fiance on his arm. Lucky for him she walked right past him. He couldn't help but confused as he saw her stopping in front of his father "What the hell?" he whispered so only he could here.

Miriallia was standing in front of Tad. It was now or never. "Councilor Elsman" She said as she picked up the sides of her dress and curtsied. Suddenly she felt all eyes on her as the room went silent. She stood back up straight and looked him in the eyes. She could see how angry he was. Unlike last time they met she was in control. "I was hoping you could do me the honor of this dance" she said holding out her hand "that is unless you think it is beneath a man of you status to dance with a natural like me?" as small smirk crossed her face. She knew exactly what his answer would be, after all she had just backed him into a corner.

"It would be my honor" he growled out. She could tell it infuriated him to have to accept her proposal. He held out his arm for her. She accepted and placed her hand on his arm as he escorted her to the middle of the room. They were the center of attention as everyone cleared the dancefloor. Tad placed one hand to hold Mir's placing the other around her naked looking waist. She nodded towards Lacus to let her know it was time to sing before turning her attention to the man holding her.

Lacus began to sing, they began to dance and the guest began to gossip. The room was filled with whispers that made a loud buzz. Enough cover for Miriallia to begin her mind games with the councilor.

"Makes you wonder doesn't it Councilor Elsman. What exactly they are whispering about." A frown came across his face. "Of course we both know what they're all talking about. All gossip and lies but still doesn't change what may be spreading. A natural and a coordinator dancing, almost unheard of." She pulled herself closer to him. only inches between them. Her tone became slightly seductive "Maybe they are wondering if you've taken a mistress?" Her hand moved from his shoulder to trace her fingers all over his chest. Her eyes watched her hand. Below her finger she could feel his heart beating. Her eyes went back to meet his as they continued to dance. Lacus's singing in the background creating an eerie atmosphere. "How does it make you feel? Knowing my half naked body is in your arms? The same body your son begged to hold, still begs to hold. Does it kill you to know that he made love to me over and over again" she felt his hand squeeze hers tightly causing her to wince in pain but that didn't stop her "He didn't care who or what I was. But you do. And now everyone is wondering if you have the same taste as your son. The taste for natural to be throw underneath you, into your bed."

"She's beautiful isn't she" he pretended he didn't hear a word she said and instead decided to play his own mind games "She will surely make a fine wife. And on his wedding day she will be the one to lay in bed with him and for the remainder of his days." He looked down at her seeing the anger building in her eyes, causing him to smile "I suppose after they are married soon after I should get them to have children. Continue a strong noble coordinator line. Untainted by natural scum. Of course a wedding date must be set first." He could feel her body trembling with anger in his arms. Miriallia was trying to keep her composer. She didn't want to lash out at him. But he seemed to know how to push all her buttons. "Maybe in a month's time. February 19th perhaps. It's not like that date is of any importance to my son. It's just the birthday of some worthless bitch"

*SLAP*

The room fell silent. Lacus quit singing and looked with concern at her friend. Mir couldn't control what she did. She slapped the councilman with all the strength she had. He looked at her with shock as did many others. "That bastard" she thought angrily.

She grabbed collar of his tux and pulled him down to whisper in his ear so only he could hear. "Like I said when we first met: coordinator or natural a prick is still a prick... Kill me if you want there is nothing left in this life for me. You've made sure of that. But at least have the common decency to pull the trigger yourself" she push him away from her a took as few steps back. She tucked some hair that had slipped out of her ponytail behind her ear. Finally she turned and made her way for the empty balcony outside the ballroom.

Everyone watched as Mir walked out to the balcony. Angry Tad pursued her. As he passed Dearka he saw him start to move to follow. He held his hand up to his son. "Stay here" he said quickly. When he reached the doors he turned towards the other guests to speak "I apologize to you all for this disturbance. Please enjoy the rest of your night." With that he walked through the doors. Two ZAFT soldier post inside the doors while two others followed him outside to stand guard.

He listened as the party began again. He could tell the gossip as well as the party was in full swing. He looked at the young girl. The moonlight was sparkling off the jewels on the back of her dress. She was leaning on the cold cement wall that surrounded the balcony. Her eyes studying the trees in front of her. "So did you decide. Will you end it here and now?" She said with a sad voice.

"How dare you speak to me like that you harlet!"

"And how should I speak to you?" She snapped angrily as she turned. "You are a horrible man who took everything from me... And your own son!"

"I did my son a favor. Someday he will thank me for taking his little play toy away from him"

"Is that what you think of me? Of what he and I meant to each other? I loved... No... I love your son. And he loved me too. But you ripped that away? For what? Your pride? To preserve your family name? Well to hell with all of that." The guards tried to pretend they didn't hear what was being said but they couldn't help but be curious.

"A silly child like you could never understand. You are nothing but a worthless natural who hides behind her words. What I did was to protect my family from the humiliation of my son skewing someone like you!"

"Dearka may be your family but he didn't need your protection. He was happy and in love. Now, just like me he is a shell of what he was"

"He will heal. That's the thing about love. When you think someone doesn't love you anymore you get over them eventually. No matter how foolishly in love you were."

"You know nothing of love!"

"And a child like you does? You're 18 years old. Get over it. Move on with life while you still have it"

"Just get it over with already! Kill me just like you promised you would" she said taking a few steps towards him. "Don't tell me your treats were empty." Tears began to build it the corners of her eyes. "Don't tell that if I chose to stay with Dearka that would have been the fiancé he showed of to the world tonight. Please... Just kill me. End the pain that you created."

"Why when it's more of a punishment to watch you suffer in life. Why should I put your blood on my hands. The blood of a dirty weakling like you."

"You're a coward." He curled his nose in disgust at her words. "You are the true weakling. Someday it will cost you your life." Angry and heartbroken Miriallia turned to head towards the staircase. Something caught her eye in the tree. A shimmer. A familiar shimmer. It was the shine of the barrel of a gun glimmering in the moonlight.

The next few moments of her life seemed to go in slow motion. "LOOK OUT!" She screamed as she rushed towards Tad Elsman pushing him as hard as she could. He fell to the ground landing flat on his back. Humiliated he began to sit up when he heard...

*Bang* *Bang*

Two shots echoed through the night. He heard the bullets hitting the metal frame of the door. Panic could be heard inside the ballroom as the ZAFT guards leaped forward shooting at the assailant. But he couldn't keep his eyes off the woman in front of him.

The jewels on her dress now shined with red. Blood trickled down her body. She stumbled back slightly, holding onto the wall lightly for support. She could feel a burning sensation... Then nothing. It was like her whole body was numb. She pressed her hand just above her tattoo. Pulling it away she looked down at the blood covering it. A small smile crossed her face.

Her body became weak and she began to fall. She expected to hit the ground hard but instead was caught mid-air and gently laid down. She weakly looked over to only be surprised that it was the man she had just saved.

"Why did you do that!" He yelled but she just stared at him. Her vision started to become blurred. "Answer me!"

"Because..." She replied weakly "It was" she winced in pain "the right thing to do" the blur started to become just shapes. Slowly the shapes started to become black.

"Miriallia!" She faintly heard Dearka's voice. But she knew he was yelling at the top of his lungs. She could tell she was fading away. She felt pressure on her two bullet wounds. Two sets of hand one on her hip and the other set above her heart. "Please Mir... Don't leave me" she heard Dearka speak broken heartedly. It sounded like he was right there holding her heart in his hands.

She felt the pressure be released for a moment before being added again. She could hear screams of anger and sadness but they seemed so far away. Her vision came back for a moment long enough to see two silver haired people above her.

With all her strength she turned her head. She saw through the blur and the chaos Dearka holding his father against the wall angry and yelling at him. "Dearka... Stop... Don't hurt him" she managed to say. Dearka turned just in time to see the light leave her eyes as she fell unconscious.


	12. Chapter XI: A Life

*BEEP Beep* *BEEP Beep*

* * *

 _"I just don't think it was very realistic" the young boy said to his girlfriend._

 _"What do you mean Tolle? What part?" she inquired as the couple started to walk through a park stopping on the bridge to look down at the water._

 _"Where the princess sacrifices her life in the end. The witch made everyday miserable, made it unbearable and in the end she chooses to save her? I just don't think anyone would ever do that" He said turning to look at Mir._

 _"It was a princess movie for children." she giggled. "Besides in the end for her pure actions the great fairy spared her life."_

 _"Nobody would do that in real life. In real life you would die"_

 _"In real life you wouldn't be blasted by magic either" she joked._

 _"Would you do it?" He asked tenderly "If someone made your life miserable, if they were in danger would you save them? I… I don't know that I could"_

 _Mir watched as the cherry blossoms fell off the trees and floated down onto the water. She thought for a moment about Tolle's question "Every life has value. And everyone deserves to have a second chance. I can't tell you if I would ever sacrifice my life for someone else... but if it felt like the right thing to do, then I think maybe I would" She looked at her boyfriend. He was looking at her like she had two heads. "What?" She asked._

 _"You just amazing Mir!" He said with a cheery smile "You are so kind and caring towards others. I know we're only 15 and you might think I'm crazy but I can't help what I feel. Miriallia Haww I love you"_

 _She looked at him sadness began to fill her eyes. She wanted to say it back… but it didn't feel right. She didn't feel the same way. "Oh my gosh it almost curfew! I need to get back to my dorm!" She said quickly before starting to run off "I'll see you tomorrow after school" she waved as she ran off. She needed to just get out of there._

* * *

*BEEP Beep* *BEEP Beep*

* * *

 _"You went to see him didn't you!" Fllay screamed._

 _"What does it matter?" Mir said emotionlessly._

 _"He killed Kira and Tolle too!"_

 _"You're wrong Fllay it wasn't him"_

 _"And you believe that? Is that what he told you? He's a liar"_

 _Mir turned quickly towards her ally "No he's not!" she snapped "You don't have to believe what he says but I know he is telling the truth! He surrendered to the ARCHANGEL before we lost Kira and Tolle's signals… it wasn't him" saying this almost gave her reassurance. Maybe the prisoner wasn't so bad after all._

 _"And what does that change? He is still one of those pilots who kept attacking us. He deserves to die for what he's done!"_

 _"Just leave him alone Fllay!" She and Miriallia just stared each other down for a few moments before Fllay broke eye contact._

 _"Why did you save him? You thought he killed Tolle so... so why? I could have shot you" She asked confused._

 _"Because I'm not like you" she closed her eyes before looking at her friend "I believe every life has value and everyone deserves a second chance."_

 _"You're a fool. You're just going to get yourself killed"_

 _"Maybe. But if it happens protecting someone then that is a death I can accept with grace and dignity."_

* * *

*BEEP Beep* *BEEP Beep*

"So what are you going to do about it?" Mir's eyes felt heavy as she slowly opened them a slit. It was dark in the room. The only light was from the moon. She could hear the beeping of many machines she was hooked up to. She turned her head as bit to the side to see two ZAFT soldiers standing looking out the window. One had silver hair and wore and white uniform. The other was a bit taller, he had blond hair and a green ZAFT uniform.

"Yzak like I said yesterday and the day before and everyday before that I don't want to talk about it" the soldier replied in a somber voice.

"You don't want to talk about it or you don't want to think about it. She not improving, in fact she seems to be getting worst. There's been too many complications with the surgeries. You know what it may come to don't you Dearka?"

"You can't ask me to make a decision like that"

"Her parents signed power of attorney over to you. If she is suffering, if she'll never wake up don't you want to end it for her"

"I will never. I can't… I still love her"

"There may not be a her left." He said putting his hand on his friends shoulder. "Even if she survives tomorrow surgery on her abdomen that doesn't mean she's out of the water. I just want you to be ready for what's to come"

"Yzak… It only been a couple of weeks. You can't ask me to think about letting her go. I've got too much to think about with the fight agaisnt Blue Cosmos and the wedding coming up. Don't put this on my mind too."

"The wedding" Mir thought. She felt her heart racing like she was panicking. Her eyes fell shut as the beeping of the machines went haywire.

"Mir!" She heard Dearka yell.

"We need a Doctor in here now!" Yzak screamed out the doorway. She felt herself drift away unconscious once again.

*BEEP Beep* *BEEP Beep*

Dearka sat by Mir's beside. It had been a month and a half since Blue Cosmos' attempted attack. Luckily for them only one person was hurt in the attack. Unfortunately for him it had been his ex-girlfriend he was still very much in love with. He watched her almost lifeless body just laying there. Sometimes he wondered if she was more alive or dead. Even with the best doctors known to mankind complication still arouse. After her surgery on her abdomen she took a turn for the worst.

It saddened him greatly to see her like this. He wished and prayed he could go back to the days where he looked forward to checking his emails. When leave from ZAFT meant he got to see her smiling face. Back to the days they were happy and in love. Looking at her he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever see her beautiful eyes again. If she would ever look at him with the love and hope she use to. When he looked at her he couldn't help but think of the day she was shot.

*BEEP Beep* *BEEP Beep*

* * *

 _Dearka couldn't believe the exchange that had just gone on between his father and his ex. Although he couldn't hear what they were saying it was definitely strange behavior from the two of them. He didn't realize Mir even knew who his father was, let alone would ever ask him to dance. Seeing her slap him and then his father pursue her made him nervous._

 _"What the hell was that about? Didn't know your girl was that brave" Yzak said surprised_

 _"She's not my girl anymore" He replied sadly_

 _"She's very beautiful. Her dress was amazing!" Ari said admiring her fiance's former lover._

 _"It wasn't her"_

 _"Huh? What do you mean?"_

 _"That woman in the dress that's not **my** Miriallia. The look in her eyes the way she moves even… it's not like her at all."_

 _"Well can you blame her you too were in love and she dumps you and a few days later you are engaged to another woman"_

 _"Shiho she dumped me because she didn't love me anymore"_

 _"Ever asked yourself why? A war was starting. Maybe she didn't want you feeling torn about who to protect her or the PLANTs. You betrayed ZAFT for her once and it got you in a whole lot of trouble maybe she was just trying to protect you"_

 _Dearka looked at Shiho confused at first but then he started to think about it. Maybe she was right? He found himself lost in thought as his fiance and two friends kept talking among themselves. "Mir? Could you really still love me? Were you just trying to protect me?" he thought to himself._

 _*Bang* *Bang*_

 _Dearka heard two shots ring out from the direction of the balcony. He watched as the guest began to panic as they were being ushered into a safe room. ZAFT soldiers began opening fire outside at unknown assailants. He felt like his heart had sunk into his stomach. It was then the fact that his father and Mir were over there began to worry him._

 _He looked over at Ariana "Ari get to the safe room"_

 _"What about you?"_

 _"My father and my ex are out there I need to make sure they are ok" He said as he started to run off in the direction of the doors._

 _"Wait for us!" Yzak yelled as he and Shiho followed._

 _They all ran towards the doors. When they reached they were horrified by what the saw. Tad Elsman was kneeling on the ground as ZAFT soldiers stood guard around the perimeter. The fight against the intruders ended with minutes of starting. Blood stained the cement. Dearka looked in horror when he realized who's blood it was. He felt his breathing become hysterical, tears flooded to the corners of his eyes._

 _"Miriallia!" he screamed._

 _His father looked back at him with a stern look on his face. "Dearka! Get over here now we need to get pressure on these wounds. Lieutenant Hahnenfuss call an ambulance. Yzak find your mother, she needs a doctor right away." They all looked at him confused "If you want this woman to die then just keep standing there." Hearing this they all jumped into action._

 _Dearka ran to Mir's side as his friends headed back into the ballroom. Dearka knelt beside her. Her eyes were looking up at the night sky but they barely had life left in them. He saw his father placing his hands on her hip to apply pressure. Looking down he saw the wound near her heart he quickly applied pressure hoping to help slow the bleeding. He placed his forehead down onto hers "Please Mir... Don't leave me… I love you. Please you have to hold on. Help is on it's way."_

 _The blood passed through his fingers slowly. He knew if she didn't get a hospital soon he was going to lose her forever. He just needed her to hold on a bit longer. As he kept looking at his poor ex questions started rolling through his head. Why as Miriallia dancing with his father? Why did she slap him? Why did he follow her out here?_

 _"I've brought my mother" Yzak said as he returned to the balcony. "The ambulance is on it's way as well"_

 _"Yzak get over here and help me" said Ezalia Joule. Yzak and his mother ran to Mir's side relieving Tad and Dearka of their duty. The men stood up as the two silver haired coordinators put pressure on her injuries._

 _"Mother… she's lost a lot of blood. Is she going to be ok?" Yzak asked in a low voice hoping his friend wouldn't hear._

 _"All we can do is try to slow the bleeding the best we can and hope the ambulance gets here soon"_

 _Dearka stood there looking at his father rage suddenly flared up. Miriallia wasn't herself tonight. The moment he saw her he could tell there was something wrong with her. Then there was the interactions be her and his father. He couldn't take the confusion of it all anymore. "Why father! What the hell was going on between you two"_

 _"It is none of your concern" he spat. Overwhelmed with grief and anger he charged his father pinning him against the wall._

 _"Tell me you bastard!" Tears flowed from his eyes "She was.. she was kind! She would never hit anyone! So why would she slap you! She didn't even know you! ANSWER ME YOU BASTARD"_

 _He had his hands tightly around the collar of his father's tux. His grip began to choke him. Tad's hands went up trying to pry his son's hands away so he could breathe. He looked at their hands they were covered in blood, Mir's blood._

 _"Dearka... Stop... Don't hurt him" he heard Miriallia struggle to say. He looked back just in time to see her eyes close._

 _He let go of Tad and slowly walk over to his love "Mir… please no" He hear the ambulance getting closer. He feared they wouldn't get there in time._

* * *

*BEEP Beep* *BEEP Beep*

"Miriallia I don't know if you can hear me but I need to talk to you."

"..."

"Everyday I've sat here and watched your lifeless body. I can't believe how much has happened since that day… the day this happened to you. After I found out what my father did to us I wish you had let him get shot instead of you. But that's not you. You are who you've always been. A kind hearted girl who always puts others before yourself. I guess that means throwing away your life if necessary."

"..." She laid there silent. Her chest slowly moving up and down as the machines beeped. So many machines were needed to keep her alive.

"I want you to know my father can't hurt us anymore. After what the Chairman had pulled in the war Lacus decided to investigate every council member. When they began to investigate him they found... everything. Copies of photos take of us together, information on you and on your whereabouts. When we confronted him about it he had no choice but to confess. I couldn't believe what he put you though. Put both us through." He looked down at his hands. It was getting hard to look at her. "For his abuse of power and crimes of uttering death threats and apparent stocking he was sent to prison. I'm not sure how long he'll be there but because of it my commitment to Ari is over for good this time."

"..." She was still silent but it felt good to at least tell her.

"You should also know it was BLUE COSMOS who attacked. Thier plan was to kill a high ranking member of ZAFT or the PLANTs to trigger the war a new. But when you sacrificed yourself for him it only fueled the belief in peace. When the peace treaty was signed a decision was made to dismantle the organization to help protect the treaty."

"..."

"I'm leaving for Earth tomorrow. I've been promoted to Admiral. I'll be traded in my old green uniform for this black one. It's a great honor. I'll be leading the mission to rid mankind of BLUE COSMOS. I'll miss you when I'm gone but I know that this is a cause that I need to fight for. I hope that when I return… I hope that you are at least still alive."

He didn't know if she had heard a word he had said. He didn't really care though. He missed speaking to her. She always made him feel better about everything whenever he spoke to her. He was hoping her just being there would have the same effect. But it just felt empty. He stood up and held her hand in his.

"I love you Miriallia. The next time I see you we will be celebrating a victory." He walked towards the door he took one last look at his love before shutting off the light and walking away.


	13. Chapter XII: A Victory

Dearka slowly did up the buttons to his new black ZAFT uniform. He buckled the belt before leaving his room. It was morning and he was leaving for Earth. Back when he originally joined the military it was only a means of escape. Now a days it seemed more like a means of life. He enjoyed being a solider. It was still strange to think he was now an Admiral in the ZAFT military. It filled him with pride to now be in such a high position.

He wanted nothing more than to share this honor with Mir... But she seemed like just a lifeless shell. He chose not to go see her before he left. It would just make it harder to leave. It was better to just go. He made his way down the hall and towards the room he would be briefing the team in.

"Dearka sweetie!" Said the soft voice of a woman.

Dearka turned and was surprised by the woman standing behind him. She was of average height and very slender. Her hair was long, straight and blonde. Her eyes were a chocolate brown and her skin was tanned much like his. He quickly lovingly embraced the woman. "Mother... I didn't think I would see you before I left" he said as they broke the hug.

"I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you."

"Thank you"

"Also I want you to know I'm going to visit Miss Haww for you while you are away."

"Mother you don't ha-"

"Yes I do. It's all because of your father… my husband that she is where she is now. If it wasn't for him intervening in your lives who knows where you two would be right now." She sighed deeply "Actually I have a bit of idea where you would be." She reached in her pocket and pulled out a small black box. It was a familiar box.

"Where did you get that?" he asked confused.

"Shortly after your father was arrested I was packing away some things in his desk. I found this in one of the drawers. Soon after I visited him in prison and asked him about the ring. That's when he told me it was yours. You were going to marry her, now because of him... because of me not being able to stop him she is lost to you"

"Mother it's not your fault. You didn't know"

"It doesn't matter. There was so many things I should have stopped him from doing but didn't. Like when he had you arrested. I thought it was my duty to always follow him. I was naive. He was a heartless cruel man… but I love him. For some reason despite what he's done I still love your father."

"Mother... " he felt bad for his mother. The humiliation she had to endure with his father's arrest. The sadness of the man she loved being locked away.

"She was to be my daughter-in-law. Now because of Tad you're both fighting. She's fighting for her life in a hospital bed and you're going to be fighting the people who put her there." She looked her son in the eyes. She was so proud of the man he had become. "I want to visit her not only because it feels right but someday I know she will be the daughter I never had."

"I don't think that will happen. She's shown no signs of waking up"

She handed him the box. She closed his hand around it cupping it in hers. "I know you'll need this someday"

"No I should start accepting she's gone" he said sadly as he tried to push the box towards her.

"Love... True love can get past anything. You found each in an impossible situation. You a prisoner and her your captor. You separated for months after the war but still found yourself together."

"That different"

"Just let me do this Dearka. If not for you then at least for her. Most of her friends are on this mission. Don't let her lay in bed alone for months"

He knew she was right. The only one left to visit her was Lacus. She was now Chairwoman of the PLANTs and would have very little time to spend with her fallen friend. "For her" he replied nodding.

"I promise I'll update you as often as possible on her condition."

"No. Please don't." His mother looked at him confused. "It's hard enough as it is leaving her. If I hear anything good, bad or neutral… I'll lose focus. I can't lose focus."

"But if she wak-"

"She won't… and like I said I can't lose focus" He looked back towards the door to the briefing room. "I need to get going. They're waiting for me." He took the small box and placed it in his pocket. Before giving his mother one last hug.

"Be careful Dearka."

He saulted his mother before turning around and heading into the briefing room. He hoped she believed him about not wanting and update. It was both a lie and the truth. He wanted to know if she was struggling for her last breath or if she was doing the same. The idea of not knowing was killing him. But he knew he was right in not wanting to know. If he lost focus on the mission then others could end up paying the price.

Dearka walked into the large briefing room. When inside he went to the front of the room where the Captains and Commanders of his teams waited. Everyone saulted him as he passed. He was proud to see a mix of ZAFT, Orb Union and Earth Alliance soldiers. It would have made Mir proud. He smiled at Athrun. He was now a Commander in the Orb military. Fighting for his fiance's army. It was all thanks to Mir that Athrun and Cagalli we're back together.

He turned to address the many soldiers. "Today is a day that will go down in history. The day the three of the greatest militaries joined to get rid of a common threat… BLUE COSMOS. Today you all have the privilege to have your name remembered as part of the Elsman team." He smirked to himself. It was strange to say those words. "Welcome to Operation Haww"

The mission was named after Miriallia. It was because of her these armies could see eye to eye. Because of her sacrifice they were not a war with each other. Instead they were comrades who would eliminate an enemy together. He turned to the screen behind them to explain the mission. Different teams would investigate different areas. It was unclear how much supporters they had gathered after Logos was eliminated. But he knew the mission would take a few months to complete.

"Let me make something clear" Dearka began after the slides were done. "Although Operation Haww is about eliminating the BLUE COSMOS organization I want a few casualties as possible. That means on both sides. The people fighting on the other side see coordinators as merciless monsters. Let's prove them wrong. Disarm and capture. Everyone will get a fair trial. And if death shall be their punishment it is up to the councils to decide not us." He looked around the room. He still couldn't believe how much his life was changing in so little time. He saulted all the soldiers. "For Miriallia"

All the soldiers stood and saulted as well "FOR MIRIALLIA!"

Three months quickly passed. They had apprehended many BLUE COSMOS supporters. Some had already been put on trial. All had minor infractions and would either be put on house arrest or jailed. It was now the final battle. But it wouldn't be done with mobile suits. BLUE COSMOS no longer had the financial backing to handle such things. Instead it would be hand to hand combat. It made Dearka nervous. He knew many of his soldiers had only sat behind the controls of a mobile suit and never did the fighting themselves. He hoped it wouldn't take them long to get the knack of fighting with a gun in their hand instead of controls.

When they arrived on the island, the last stronghold of BLUE COSMOS, he divided the men into three teams. There were four different entrances. He planned to hit them all at once. The teams were a mix of all different militaries he had at his disposal. All with varying skills. He knew no matter what the enemy threw at them his men could handle it.

He stationed each team a one of the four entrances. This left one door. This door would be attacked by a special team led by Admiral Elsman himself. It was comprised of his closest comrades: Commander Yzak Joule, Lieutenant Shiho Hahnenfuss, Commander Kira Yamato, Commander Athrun Zala, Commander Andrew Waltfeld and Commander Mwu La Fllaga. They were his most trusted allies. He knew with them by his side victory wasn't far behind.

He picked up his communicator. It was time to begin. "It's time. Begin the final Phase of Operation Haww on my count...3…..2…..1…..NOW!" With that they began to storm the facility. Gun shot rang out down the halls. Screams could be heard in every direction.

"Dearka behind you!" Shiho yelled. He turned and fired a shot disarming the BLUE COSMOS member. He grabbed a zip tie and bond the man's hand together. He radioed in to the soldiers outside to take him to the brig before the continued. "That was too close"

"This is only the beginning. I think the further we go in the more trained they'll be. We may even be able to get the leader this time." They made their way deep into the base. Dearka heard word that some had been injured and headed back to the ship.

It was finally here. The last door. The moment it was opened all hell would break loose. There was no telling what would happen, how many lives would be lost. Dearka took a deep breath. Once this was over he could go home. He could see Miriallia. Find out how her condition was. He looked at the other soldiers and nodded to let them know to open the doors. They all moved to the sides as the doors opened.

As shower of bullets fired through the doorway. When the bullets slowed they made their move. They began shooting back through the doorway at the assailants quickly disarming them. When enough were disarmed they entered the room. Very few enemies remained as the shot out continued until finally only one large member remained. Dearka signaled for his comrades to seize fire.

"So you're the Great Admiral Elsman my men have been talking about" The man was very tall and solidly built. His eyes were dark and full of hate. His head was bald. He wore many stands of bullet around him and two large guns under his arms.

Dearka smirked "I don't know about the great but I am Admiral Elsman. I've been sent to dismantle this illegal organization of yours."

"And what about freedom of speech? I have every right to hate whomever I want."

"Hate whomever you want but the killing and this organization ends here today." his friends looked at him like he was crazy. Did he really think he could reason with this mad man?

"You and what army!" He said as he readied the two guns under his arms.

Dearka just smiled "This one" with that all his soldiers began to flood the room from every direction. He was surrounded with no way to escape. He's only choice was to shoot his way out. Angry he pointed his towards Dearka and fired the large guns. Unfortunately for him he only got off one shot before the jammed and exploded under his arms. He fell to the ground quickly severely injured. It was over. In one shot it was over. After three long months of fighting BLUE COSMOS was finished. Operation Haww was a booming success.

Dearka could go home. But maybe that scared him more than this battle did. Over the past few months he had made a decision. A life altering decision. It had almost be five months since Miriallia was shot. If she was still in the same condition she was when he left or worst then he had no choice. It was selfish to prolong her suffering because he couldn't lose her again. He needed to end her pain.

He slowly made his way through the base ensuring that it was secure when he heard a voice "Dearka!" He turned to see a worried Kira.

"Yeah Yamato?"

"You're bleeding!" Dearka looked over to where Kira's eyes were focused. The arm of his uniform was drenched in blood. The tense situation of the battle had blinded him to the pain. When the new leader of BLUE COSMOS fired off his one shot it must have hit him. It wasn't serious or life threatening but it needed to be taken care of. "We should get you back to the ship" Dearka nodded as the walked together. Kira could tell his friend was lost in thought. "Have you heard any news on Mir?"

"I asked not to. I needed to remain focused."

"I hope she's doing ok" He replied as they headed outside. I was night now. Dearka looked up at the stars and the moon. He couldn't help but feel like Miriallia was watching over him.


	14. Chapter XIII: A Recovery

A cool breeze blew through the window. The scent of fresh flowers filled the room. The faint sound of footsteps could be heard in the distance.

Slowly she began to open her eyes. She opened them wider than she had in weeks. She turned her head to the side and saw the curtains fluttering in the breeze. The sun was rising, it was morning. She looked at the bedside table. On top was a bouquet of flowers in a vase. A few drops of water still on the tabletop around them. There was a card propped up next to the glass container. Through the slight blur in her eyes she could read it: With all my love Dearka Elsman. The flowers were from her ex. The ex she still loved.

For a moment she didn't know where she was. She didn't know why she was there either. Until finally the memories of it all flooded back to her. Tears rolled down her face as the memories invaded her thoughts.

* * *

 _"Why is it that you're here?" She asked trying to sound and look as confident as possible._

 _"It's simple" he answered as he pushed himself off the wall. "I want you to end your relationship" He took another calm sip of his drink before sitting it on the mantel._

 _"What?" She was confused._

 _"End your Relationship Dearka Elsman" he said slowly. His face then filled with hate "It's an abomination that ends now. You will end this and allow him to get his life back on the track it was always meant to be on"_

* * *

 _"And when this is all done… when I'm gone… dead or alive what happens to him then" her voice quivered with sadness. Tears were at the corners of her eyes threatening to fall._

 _"He will pick up where he left off before he ever joined the military. He will marry Ariana Gould. Our families will unite. And you will just be one of his many past indiscretions."_

* * *

 _"This war it's ripping everything apart. Even Orb has taken the side of the Earth Alliance. Chaos is everywhere. Our people are fighting and will alway fight. So why keep fighting for something that just isn't there anymore?"_

 _"What do you mean isn't there anym-"_

 _"I don't love you"_

* * *

 _Mir took the knife holding the handle with both her hands aiming towards her heart. Murdock looked at her with concern. It was the first time she let anyone see her pain. "I made the wrong choice. I should have stay with him. Took my last breath being his. Even if it was short I could have spent the rest of my life with him. I thought the best choice was leaving him to spare him the pain of someone he loved dieing." She looked up at Murdock deep into his concerned eyes "But… I was too busy thinking about him to bother to think about how I would feel without him in my life. I feel empty and dead inside, so why… why not… just end it here and now."_

* * *

 _"Makes you wonder doesn't it Councilor Elsman. What exactly they are whispering about." A frown came across his face. "Of course we both know what they're all talking about. All gossip and lies but still doesn't change what may be spreading. A natural and a coordinator dancing, almost unheard of."_

* * *

 _"You are a horrible man who took everything from me... And your own son!"_

 _"I did my son a favor. Someday he will thank me for taking his little play toy away from him"_

* * *

 _"You're a coward." He curled his nose in disgust at her words. "You are the true weakling. Someday it will cost you your life." Angry and heartbroken Miriallia turned to head towards the staircase. Something caught her eye in the tree. A shimmer. A familiar shimmer. It was the shine of the barrel of a gun glimmering in the moonlight._

 _The next few moments of her life seemed to go in slow motion. "LOOK OUT!" She screamed as she rushed towards Tad Elsman pushing him as hard as she could. He fell to the ground landing flat on his back. Humiliated he began to sit up when he heard..._

 _*Bang* *Bang*_

* * *

It was then she remembered what had happened. She was forced to break up with Dearka. She remembered the all the pain associated with that and the hate. She hated Tad Elsman for what he did to them. But in the end she threw all that hatred aside and saved his life. She could have died but she was so broken she didn't care.

She turned her head toward the door. She could see ZAFT soldiers passing by. She was in a military hospital. She tried to call out but something stopped her. She realized there there was a tube down her throat preventing her from speaking. She laid there unable to call for anyone to help. She was finally awake but alone. She kept hoping someone would come and remove the device. It was quickly becoming uncomfortable. That's when a woman appeared in the doorway.

She had never seen the woman before but she seemed very familiar. She had long straight blonde hair. Deep brown eyes and tanned skin. She looked at Miriallia for a moment. A shocked look crossed the woman's face before she ran out of the room. _"What's up with her?"_ Mir thought.

Soon after she returned with a silver hair woman in a white lab coat. This woman seemed familiar too. This second woman appeared to be a doctor. A bit of Mir's memory started to become unfogged. The two silver hair people above her when she was shot, this was one of them.

"Good morning Miss Haww." Said the doctor as she walked over "I want you to just relax. I'm going to remove this tube from you. After I do I want you to relax and don't try to talk right away. Your throat needs to time to retract and rest." Mir nodded as Ezalia slow removed the tube. It was uncomfortable and she gagged a bit as it was being removed but she was relieved to have it gone.

Her eyes wandered over to the woman who had been in the doorway. She was now on the opposite side of the bed from the doctor. "Ezalia how it she?"

"Still to early to tell Sabaa. I need to run a few tests before I can know for sure." She turned towards Mir before speaking again "But she's awake and breathing on her own which is a good sign." She turned back to the blonde "I'm going to get a room ready to give her a full examination. Why not introduce yourself and maybe fill her in on the state of things."

Sabaa nodded as the other woman left the room. She looked at Mir lost for words before smiling. "Hello Miss Haww. I'm glad to see you're finally awake." She sat down and Mir turned her head to look at the beautiful woman next to her. "I don't know if you know who I am. By how confused you looked I'd say you don't. My name is Sabaa, Sabaa Elsman"

Mir's eyes went wide _"Elsman… she's Dearka's mother?"_ she thought.

"I want to apologize to you for all the pain my husband caused you. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving him. Because of your actions a war may have been stopped. BLUE COSMOS was the ones who attacked. If they had managed to kill him there's no telling the horrors that would have been caused because of it. Instead a natural risked her life to protect him. Now a mission has started to finally put an end to the organization. A mission that ZAFT, Orb and the Earth Alliance are all united in completing."

Mir was surprised to hear this. Her sacrifice had solidified the strives for peace. "They're all fighting together" she thought happily.

"He's in prison" Sabaa could see Mir was confused at the bluntness of the woman's confession. "My husband. I know what he did to you."

"..."

"I know what you must think of me. I'm the wife of the man who ruined your life. For years I stood by thinking it was my duty to follow him. Even if I didn't approve I was his wife. I couldn't ruin his… our family name by going against him. But I was wrong. I lost a part of myself trying to be the perfect society woman. I should have yelled and screamed and fought against him. So many things I turned a blind eye to. But I love him, even now knowing all the horrible things he's done."

"..."

"Our marriage was arranged and I feel madly in love with him. I felt disappointed when Dearka kept dodging his marriage to Ariana. They were matched in the same way that my husband and I were. Things had worked out well for us so I thought… I thought maybe it would for him too. He just needed to give it a chance. The first time he ran away I thought he was scared of settling down so young. The second time the engagement was off because of his arrest. I couldn't believe he left ZAFT to fight for the ARCHANGEL. Then he volunteered to marry Ari for the third deal. Something seemed off but as a good wife I didn't question. I couldn't have been more happy when it was my husband's arrest that ended that one."

 _"He didn't marry her"_ she felt a strange feeling fill her. What was this feeling. Was it happiness? She had almost forgot what it felt like.

"I don't want my son marrying just any girl when he could marry the girl. I want him to feel love. Natural or coordinator I don't care. Love is love."

"Where's Dearka?" She struggled to ask.

"Don't strain yourself sweetie." She said lovingly. "Dearka isn't in PLANTs anymore. He left for Earth three days ago. He's leading the mission to dismantle BLUE COSMOS. He's been promoted to Admiral and leads teams from all the greatest militaries."

"Sorry to interrupt" Ezalia said entering the room. "The room is ready. I'm going to take Miss Haww down for a few test now."

Sabaa stood up "I'm going with her. In Dearka's absence I promised I would look after her"

"Only next of kin can go in"

"I am her next of kin. Dearka has been named her guardian with power of attorney so long as she remains in the PLANTs. He is my son. Which should qualify me to stay by her side."

"Fine. Only if that is what the girl wants" she looked towards Mir. Mir smiled and nodded. She did want Dearka's mother there. She was kind just as Dearka said she was. She was a bit scared being in the hospital and wanted nothing more than someone kind by her side.

The two women helped her into the wheelchair. Sabaa pushed her as Ezalia showed the way. When they entered the hall Mir watched as the soldiers stopped and saluted. She was traveling with a councilwoman and the wife of a former councilman. They were showing their respect the women she thought.

"They are saluting you" Sabaa whispered. "Because they respect you. You risked your life to protect one of their leaders. You are the face of peace." Miriallia couldn't believe it. All these ZAFT soldiers respected her. It felt amazing.

They entered the examination room and she was lifted onto the bed. She asked Mir a few questions and Mir answered in a raspy voice. Satisfied with her answers Ezalia began a physical examination. "Everything is looking good. You didn't seem to sustain any spinal damage however you may have difficulty walking at first. You've been unconscious for over a month and a half. Your legs aren't use to moving yet."

"What steps does she take now? When can I bring her home with me?" Mrs. Elsman asked.

"First we start physical therapy. She's better off staying in the hospital until she regains movement. When she is walking on her own, or at least with a cane, she can go home with you"

"And how long will that take"

"It could take days, weeks, even months. We don't know until we begin the process. Sabaa I know you are lonely right now in that big house but don't rush this. I've been instructed by both our sons to give her the best care possible. Which mean not rushing her recovery. I'm going to go schedule some appointments with the physical therapist. Why not take her outside for some fresh air."

They put her back in the wheelchair and went their separate ways. Sabaa pushed her outside, stopping in front of a large cherry tree. She sat down on a bench beside Mir's wheelchair. They had both been silent the entire time. Finally tired of the quiet she had endured for far too long Miriallia spoke "How long will Dearka be gone"

"We're not sure. Perhaps a few weeks maybe a few months. The mission is to put a stop to BLUE COSMOS which mean finding the new leader. They have no idea who that is… so it may take a while."

"So you're all alone"

"For now. I didn't really want to tell you before but Tad is getting out of prison in a few weeks." She looked at Mir she could see the fear in her eyes. "What he did to you and Dearka it was horrible. He ruined your life. But now Dearka knows. The council knows. You're free to do what you will. Be with my son if you so chose. Don't let my husband ever get in your way again."

"But with him out what if her tr-"

"He can't nor would he try to hurt you. You saved him. Doing so you gained his respect. He may never except a natural and a coordinator together but won't top it."

"Do you really believe that"

"Yes"

The next day Mir had her first appointment with the physical therapist. It didn't go well. He legs felt like jello. She could barely move them never mind stand. The next two sessions didn't go much better. She felt so discouraged. Luckily for her though she seemed to have quite a bit of strength in her arms. She was getting more and more use to putting herself in the wheelchair. She was able to bring herself around the hospital by herself now.

She was start to get use to the saluts. She even started saluting back. The hospital was seeming more and more like a welcoming place. A welcoming place she just wanted to leave it had be two weeks since she woke up. She could still barely manage to stand. She rolled into the physical therapy room where Mrs Elsman and the therapist waited.

"Welcome back Miss Haww." the Doctor said as she saluted "Why don't we start with stretching." Mir was helped to the floor where her was helped through various exercises designed to get the blood flowing and help with regaining movement. They did this ever appointment. The stretched for 20 or so minutes before they were ready to move on. "Ok Miss Haww… it's time."

Mir was helped over to the set of bars. She put one hand on each holding herself up. She took a deep breath before trying to take a few steps. She faintly moved her legs a few steps before falling to the floor. Her hands balled up into fists as she began to slam them down on the ground. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Why won't they move!" She cried as tears ran down her face.

Sabaa ran over to her side and helped her to a sitting position. "You're doing great Miriallia. That's the furthest you've got yet"

"It's been two weeks. Councilor Joule said I should be better in a few weeks."

"A few weeks can mean a lot of things. It can mean three, four even five weeks." She tilted Mir's chin up to met her gaze. "You're doing fine. I promise. I won't lie to my daughter would I?" they hugged tightly before helping her back on the bars.

They had become very close over the past two weeks. Sabaa told Mir she was the daughter she never had. It was amazing to feel so supported by the mother of the man she loved. She didn't know what the next few weeks in her life would bring. In three weeks Tad would be released from prison. Dearka's mission was far from being over and he had no idea about her current condition. He still believed she was lost in a undying coma.

She gripped the bars tightly. Memories of the past few years haunting her. The wars she fought in. The people she lost. The homes she watched being destroyed. She was stronger now than she was ever before. She was only a shadow of the innocent girl she was that fateful day that Heliopolis fell.

She remembered the sadness that filled her the day she found out Dearka was leaving. Her shock that lead her to remove some of her clothing as jump in the shower with the young coordinator. The feeling that consumed her when they kissed for the first time. It was in that moment she truly fell in love with him. It gave her the strength to get through the hardest part of her life at the time… losing Tolle. The love that she and Dearka could get her past anything.

She took a deep breath once again. She relaxed her body. She let the feeling of Dearka's love intoxicate her body. Fill her senses. She closed her eyes. _"When I see you again Dearka… I'll take away your pain like you've always done for me"_ she thought as she took a step forward.


	15. Epilogue: A Reunion

The warships docked in the PLANTs. It was finally over. BLUE COSMOS had been officially dismantled. The soldiers were all exhausted. It had been a long few months. But for Admiral Elsman it had seemed like an eternity. Upon docking he learned his father had been released from prison a few weeks before. It angered him that his father didn't serve a longer sentence. But being a high society man he seemed to get to play by a different set of rules.

Dearka walked off the ship. His feet touched the ground. It felt so nice to be back in the PLANTs. He wanted nothing more than to run and check in on Mir. But the truth is he was scared to see her. He had made a promise to himself that, as much as it pained him, he would end her suffering if need be. It was a decision that hurt more than his bullet wound.

His arm rested in a sling to prevent strain. His jacket draped over his shoulders. "Dearka it's time" Yzak said putting his hand on his friends shoulder. "They're all waiting for you." He nodded.

He made his way through the large group of soldiers. When he got to the front he looked at the high ranking soldier in front of him. Most were his close friends. The people who helped him take down a horrible organization. He turned and faced the other soldiers. It was a sea of color. Blue, green, red, pink and white uniforms all mixed in together. They were from different militaries all who fought together for a common goal.

"Today we can stand here proud. Naturals and coordinators who fought together to put an end to a great evil. The road ahead of us is still hard. We may fumble around still but we will always have this mission. Operation Haww will go down in history as the first of many times these armies stood as one fighting for a common goal, a common good. BLUE COS-" Dearka stopped when he noticed the soldiers all began to salute. "You know it is customary to wait for the Admiral to finish his speech before saluting" he joked before he noticed the shocked look on his friends' faces. He turned and looked towards the once empty area of the room to the left.

He saw both his parents standing there. His father with his arm around his mother's waist. He was wearing a very casual outfit. Jeans and a button up shirt. He looked more relaxed then he had ever seen his father. Maybe the jail time had done him some good. But that wasn't who shocked him to see. There standing in front of them was someone who seemed like a ghost.

Her medium length brunette hair was pulled back in a light ponytail. She was wearing a very modest sundress. A dress that suited her more than her two ball dresses ever did. "Mir..." He whispered in shock. She was smiling ear to ear before taking a few steps forward towards Dearka. He did so too. They still remained almost ten feet apart. "You're alive" He said his voice cracking slightly.

"You we're shot" she said noticing the sling.

He looked down at his arm "It's nothing" it room filled with silence. It was a very tense situation. It was quiet for a couple minutes until the silence was broken.

"Can… We just pretend the last few months didn't happen? Can we go back to that day in the field when you said you had a feeling something big was going to happen?" She asked. She looked back at his parents for a moment then back at him "Let the past be the past."

"After everything my father you just want to forget it?"

"Do you really expect me to hold on to it forever? That's not the woman you fell in love with is it." He looked at her confused. Then at his parents. He locked eyes with his father. He was different somehow. He seemed changed in ways Dearka didn't think was possible. He watched as his father began to approach them he stopped to put his hand on Mir shoulder. She looked up at the man and smiled.

He continued to walk and stood by his son and whispered in his ears. "I'm a proud man that very rarely will admit to making a mistake. You are a true man now, you proved that on this mission. It's time to step out of the shame I've brought to our family name and forge something new. I know your mother gave it to you… it's time you give it to the person it truly belongs to."

Dearka looked at his father shocked before pulling the small box out of his pocket. His father nodded at him before heading back to stand by his wife. Dearka could feel all eyes on him but only one set mattered. They both took a few steps forward. Only three feet remained in between them now.

"Miriallia… "

"Dearka" It felt so good to hear her say his name.

"When I first met you, you frustrated me. You were some crying soldier that I didn't understand. I thought you were weak. Then I got to know you and I realized you were the strongest person I've ever met. You've made me happier than ever knew possible, and you've hurt me more than I ever thought possible. You drive me crazy in the best ways possible. I loved you ever since I learned your name. I've wanted to do this only a few months into dating you." He knelt down on one knee and opened the box with the thumb of his one good hand revealing a beautiful ring. "Miriallia Haww, I ask you in front of both our worlds… will you do me the honor of becoming my wife"

"Yes!" She said smiling. He jumped to his feet picking her up in his arm. He swang her around and kissed her deeply. A kiss they had both be dying to share. They could hear the cheering coming from the soldiers behind them. Hoots and hollers but they didn't pay attention to any of it. They were back together in each others arms. Everything that stood in their way was gone. They were finally free. Free to be in love.

They finally broke their kiss. They gazed deeply into each others' eyes "Never scare me like that again. Promise" he begged.

"I promise"

 _The End_


End file.
